by Nur Faiqah Shahri
Theres no point making decisions without thinking that might lead you to regrets for the rest of your life.so yeah, heres what im gonna start with.
Lets share about today.
Great, i wasnt late, haha! thats a good thing, thanks to Mr.Lim's Alarm clock that he gave me.
hahha! :D cute siaa my teacherrr.
okayokay, lets start,
I seriously Hate KIANSIANG.
that dumb one, cant stop agitating me man.
so yeah, in class.
I shared alot of things with my lovely bestfriend, shahidah.
and yes, we're going the same situation right here.
its been so bad.
I still have that guilt in me eventhough it has been a year passed.
i just dont know! Im not HAPPY with my life, Im serious.
if only i could say things out, but i dont wished to do so, here.
Maybe to some, who knew what happened between me and _____.
i still treasure those memories i had with him.
still have those clear in my mind.
the disappointment i gave him.
The rushing decisions that led us to such separation.
till now, everything seemed so quiet between me and him.
we didnt talked after everything happened.
I pointed fingers on him and just keep thinking immaturely!
i admit, it was my mistake.
yes, it was all my fault.
so what more i could do now?
i just cant deny that somehow, i do miss him.
Only God knows how bad its been for me.
But i know, Its been the worse for him.
Ive been such a bitch.
yes, i knew i was one, i regretted it so much.
deciding things without any second thoughts to it.
man, i was being so plain dumb.
If hes reading this now,
I wished to tell you this, i wanted this ignorance to end, please.
atleast we can be friends.
somehow i knew those words ive said really made you mad at me.
But i cant take those words back, theres no turning back.
i really needed you so much, but im just too helpless/
enough of those tears. enough of those stupid thoughts.
I deserved it.
whats goes around comes around.
and i bet its true after all. after what ive been through, im in dilemma now.
Left with things undone yet bottled up inside my heart,
and its really killing me man!
ohgod, i dont wanna rush things once more and end up, going seperate and that urge of missing that someone.
Bullshit man.
I dont want history to repeat by itself.
i dont wish to!
and yes, only shahidah understands why im this way and why i still have that guilt right in me.
im waaaaaaaaaay damn to stupid luh.
how i wished this ignorance could end between us please? to who ever it may be.
Till here,
w/double loves.
