a new start to a new chapter

Boyf's in the house

2011-09-16T20:40:00.002+08:00

HEY YAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Boyfriend's was in the houseeeeeeeeeeeee just nowwww~ Everybody just have a good timeeeee~

lol.

Morning was so tiring man,i just don't feel like waking up, more like bedridden. Chey.

Hehehe. Combined Sciences Paper 1 was rather easy PROVIDED if there was more time given! pfft.

I was rushing to get the answers accurate but I ran out of time while answering the question on forces. Damn it. I did checked my work after that, THANK GOD i did.

I would've lost two marks or so if i haven't done any checking just now.

phew. yeah today was the last paper, FOR PRELIMS.

Well, not really the LAST paper.

O's coming rite up. damn it, time flies man. I hope time doesn't have any wings or Sofy.

LOL. ok.

I got home quite early and Mum's not working.

I headed off to Sheng Shiong with Mummy and had Mac Donalds for Breakfast after much persuading.

My best uncle joined us for Breakfast and he sent us home soon after that.

Then, I was at home, doing nothing all over again. Boredom is the first occupation. LOL!

So Boyfriend texted me and asked me to go out quickly as he has been released from school.

So yeah, YOU KNOW ME. I just love rushing naturally. LOL.

I rushed downstairs and i saw him sitting with karthik(his friend).

I was like, OHHHH DAMN.

I was touched that he surprised me though.

He went up to my house to meet Mummy and Mummy offered him to come in, so is Karthik.

So they stayed in my house for quite a number of hours.

A lot of pictures was snapped. All in Facebook. LOL.

Ok. I'm reallyreally tired now.

One conversation with boyfriend.

Boyfriend: Ya, i don't know why he's into a girl that's very fierce and not girly.

Me: Oh ya hor. The ex-girlfriend also quite gangster ah.

Boyfriend : Haha yes, i really have no idea why.

Me: then what about me,baby? I fierce ah?

Boyfriend: No la baby, you're the cute-cute type. I love you.

Me: Awwww i love you too, Hugs*

OK LOVELY PEOPLE BYE :)

formspring.me

2011-09-14T20:17:00.001+08:00

You ask me, i answer <3 http://formspring.me/IeqahhEderra

i want a MAN

2011-09-14T19:37:00.002+08:00

Hey. Yeah. School ended early today, YAY -.- I thought it was so much fun to be going home early but actually it wasn't even fun at all plus it makes me feel like a pig. Kept on lazing around and do completely nothing! Pfft. While on my way home, Boyfriend texted saying he wanted to ask me to come along for Karaoke with Sister this afternoon. Yeah i was so excited. As per usual la, I rushed home.
I got all ready and waited for his text around 11AM.
I texted him at around noon but he didn't replied any of my texts. I got so fed up waiting and being ready.
I changed and went to sleep. He replied me at 2plus PM! IMAGINE.
I wonder what the hell he's doing,seriously. When asked, he said he has got some problems.
I asked what kind of problems?
Then he said, Got ah.
LOL. Annoying reply.
Around 3PM, i hung up the phone on him. fuck ah, he's like a champion sia. CHAMPION to make me wait and get all worked up -.-
Then now, supposingly i'm the one who should be ignoring his texts.
Guess what, it's the other way round. ah fuck la.
Tomorrow there's Physics Practical. Yay. I don't have to wake up that early.

I want a man who will never make me wait. I want a man who'd marry me. bye.

How to love?

2011-09-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

Hey ya. somehow i'm back yeah :)
Today's fine. Yesterday went to watch a malay movie with Boyfriend. I didn't know we were going to watch a movie when he actually said he wanted to buy popcorns just for the sake of buying. So i just followed. And then we headed for the theatre. Guess he knows i love surprises. The show was very funny and it cracks me up a lot of times. I laughed hysterically, like pontianak. LOL.
He kept eating those popcorns like how Mr.Bean did when he watched a horror movie. HAHA.
I had a lot of fun. And then he sent me home and ya :)
This morning.
We went to school together. Very cute!
Hehe. Then he sent me to school and he's off to school.
AND THEN, we went for breakfast! :) I was so excited but he came late! :(
BRRR! i was so angry cause i waited for almost half an hour!
By the time i was about to leave, he called me up. As per usual, with that cute voice. GRRR. I can't help but stay and wait for him.
He treat me for breakfast! LOL! but i paid him back though. :D I really hate using his money.
I just hate it :/
Yeah nothing much. I'm just upset over someone. Hmm, someone who used to be close to me. Seems like he has changed a lot :( Seeing him change, I just feel like breaking down. I don't know why.
But, on top of all. Was it my fault? :(
Ok bye :)

SMURFS

2011-09-03T00:33:00.003+08:00

fuck the network for being sucha drag -.- I upload only 5 photos and i waited for half an hour already -.-

Will upload tomorrow nia.

fuck i damn pissed off with my primary sch mate.

Ok maybe not even MY primary sch mate ah if i were to relate her to me now -.-

I asked nicely,

Me: Babe, u free on the 10th? Join us for raya la :)

She: I planned with my friends alr leh .

me: kk nvm

VERY ANNOYING OR WHUT?

Its not as if i will bring you to jail if you can't come. Can reply me nicely what.

Just say you can't make it since you got other plans.

Woah this one, the reply like kena force like that sia.

so yeah wtv.

I went out with my girlfriends today :)

Went to watch The Smurfs (:

Hehe! IT WAS A 5/5 RATED MOVIE! I SWEAR ITS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Overall it was a nice outing :)

PLUS, I WATCHED SMURFS TWICE cause after the movie i went to meet family and watch it again!!!! but it was worth it though :)

Nothing much to talk about.

MY HARI RAYA NOW LEFT BELOW 20$ ONLYYYYYY.

Wasted it on hair products and facial products. :/

But nevermind, i can still grab another mountain tomorrow! HAHA!!!!!

Going for Raya Visitings tomorrow :P

Where's Nana Jepon?

Been long since she posted on my wall :(

Ok goodnite :D

calefare squeezed mucus.

2011-08-29T23:50:00.004+08:00

HAH I'M SO BORED, THEREFORE I SNAP SNAP SOME WEBCAM PHOTOS! HEHE.

NOW YOU SEE ME WITHOUT FRINGE! How? CAN?

HAHA!

I bought Purple contact lenses so that i can match it with my Purple Baju kurung Boyfriend bought for me. hehe plus, since it's his favourite colour, so why not?
Muka mintak kena tampar eh? HAHA!
HAHHAHAAHA MATA KECIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK. (SMALL EYES)

SO i waited for theseee two asses for about 1 hour plus! >:-(!

My ass was like getting numb sitting around near the bus stop at Admiralty.

PFFT! Morning, or should i say, afternoon. Rushed to Toa Payoh and headed for Mac donalds to meet up with my d&t teacher. LOL. Me and Shahidah were like sitting there and figuring out whether we should eat since it's still lunch time; cheaper.

HAHA! So we decided to buy some meal.

WHAT THE HELL,we laughed like mad as we walked back to the interchange after we're done looking at the hottest vampire around on earth. LOL!

While walking to the Toa Payoh Interchange, there's one person kept on shouting out loud and Shahidah, HAHA DAMN EPIC. She wanted to kaypoh around and check out the scene,

While watching what was happening, AN APEK CAME ACROSS THE SCENE AND SQUEEZED OUT HIS MUCUS INTO THE DRAIN!

And i announced him as the calefare of the scene since he appeared from nowhere and blocked the chaotic scene and squeeze out his mucus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHA disgusting.

met up with Baby and Dinie!

Then went home.

TIRED.

TOMORROW's HARI RAYA.

YAY YAY YAY!

BYE!

Old memories, new room

2011-08-27T15:19:00.002+08:00

I CLEANED UP MY ROOM!
AND, i found my old diary. So here's some of the snippets i got from my diary.

- My used-to-be bestfriend/girlfriend/sister. HAHA Should i say, Everything?

But yeah, we're just close (:

-When i was in secondary 2 (: Can't really see. But i'm the 2nd person after the teacher in black.

-This was when Qifa, confessed to me that he likes me, LOL! see i go update!

And, lastly my room! :) HEHE!

Another curtain i have not fixed it. :(

Fixing it now! :)

OK BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

back

2011-08-26T18:34:00.004+08:00

FOR ONCE! I thought my blog was taken away! :( thank God it wasn't! HEHE!

So that picture symbolizes my life! UNDEFINED.

Yes, undefined.

As in, I don't know what i'm up to, everyday.

most of time i'd be wasting time instead of studying ya know? But hell yeah, i studied two days back for Prelims and i hardly get some sleep :(

My oral english last week was the best oral exam! Well,for me. Because i didn't stumble a word while reading the passage, I'm happy. weeeeweeee. LOL.

But examiner is very rude eh. I was answering half way and she interrupted me with a new question >:-|

So i had maths paper last two days. It went pretty well for Maths Paper 2 and English Paper 1. Yesterday was Social Studies and Maths Paper 1. Both papers were a killer! Especially MATHS! and Social Studies, i left the (a) essay question blank! damn it, i was so sleepy!

Today was basically on History and English Paper 2! And both papers were YAHOO!

Heheh. For history, i didn't leave a blank at all and make sure i answered most of the questions.

For English Paper 2, my handwriting was very neat and clean :P

Imagine having two of me. Hhaha bet it's gonna be crazy especially when i start to annoy people!

Hehehe. Went to Marsiling ommunity centre yesterday and went for a karaoke with Boyfriend.

He knew just how much i was stressed up with school.

It was my first time singing infront of my boyfriend.

Thank god tak out of tune, If out of tune ah, hahahaha i think i'll laugh hard on the microphone.

But it was very fun when we duet some of the songs! :D

So yeah.
That's about it! I'll be back with more updates!!!!!!

Two more days to Hari Raya!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I'm gonna finish all those kuihs in people's house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIAP AKU DATANG NAK KERJAKAN KUIH-MUIH MAKCIK. >:-)!

Ok bye! anything tag meeee!!!

stupidity

2011-08-19T16:24:00.002+08:00

Ever gotta feeling you're just living a good life and the next day you're living in the most horrible life ever? Yeah. Feel me,then.

One second, he was so nice like Mr.Right, the next moment he'll play the role, "Jerk".

So what's new?

I was so happy living my life and today, 19th Aug 11, it's just no longer happy anymore.

Fuck happiness man!

It just could'nt last! I was building hopes on a thin line. Guess while i was building, i stepped on the wrong line. I'm falling again.

Why do you have to do this to me?

Can't you just treat me dearly?

Your friends are all that matters rite?

Sigh, seriously. I'm just so stupid to be finding time for you. Serious stupidity.

Today's Friday, school releases us early. For a moment, i thought you'd at least have the initiative to just reach me in whatever ways but you didn't. I just can't stop lying to myself and think that you'd call me up and ask for a meet-up.

well yeah, fuck my thoughts.

Again, i reached home. I called u up, you said you were at the school's bustop.

I waited for you to reach home and expecting a text from you.

2 hours later. My phone's still silent.

I called u up again and you said you were at Marsiling.

Doing what? Meeting up with ur friend.

Awww how sweet of you? Yesterday you were too sick and you can't meet me cause of that.

You're still unwell today and you can still meet-up with your friend.

Woah, must have been someone special aye?

Uh whatever.

I'd rather motherfucking sleep.

bye.

The reason why i drift away.

2011-08-14T00:00:00.002+08:00

HIHI.

So that's my sister (:

She's there always cheering me up when i'm down, ALWAYS. I appreciate her existence though sometimes she gets annoying. HAHA.

Oh well, so i woke up and went back to sleep early in the morning. I first woke up at 8AM. As per usual,checking my phone but it was expected though, No texts from B-o-y-f-r-i-e-n-d. Well should i even call him B-o-y-f-r-i-e-n-d in the first place?

Tsk. So disappointed. :/ hmm.

Times like this, i just feel as if i'm like drifting away and my heart's like divided into two. :/

Nah i don't know.

So yeah,went to Nexx and had Subway. hehe me and my parents are all not fasting :P

Teeeeheee. So yeah. We walked around and went home shortly after that.

Well, he texted me in the afternoon asking whether i'm still mad at him.

I replied though, as per usual, ranting it all out.

His replies were simply NEVER convincing plus, he's not making me any happier! >:-(!

(bukannya nak ambil hati orang, ni makin makan hati.)

Sighhhhhhhhhhh. I went to Sheng Shiong with Mummy and Sister.

VERY HEAVY UH THE GROCERIESSSSS.

Tskkkkk,

Went home and time check, 12:23AM.

He hasn't text me since 10PM.

How cool?

Or maybe i should just love someone else more?

WTV

Goodnite.

EXTREMELY MAD.

2011-08-12T22:55:00.002+08:00

Hi,

Sorry for not updating that often. Cause i'm just lazy to actually update or go online.

But i'm very very active in Facebook! :D

So yeah. Today's my cousin's birthday. Happy Birthday Dinie Haziq (:

In that, actually i planned with Boyfriend to make a surprise for this cousin of mine and i rushed home despite knowing there's an extra class after which would end around 0330pm.

As per usual, SILLY me. I rushed home like mad, as in, LIKE MAD YA KNOW?

I reached home pretty early and was quite happy to meet up with boyfriend. But, guess what?

I got all prepared and he asked me to wait. I waited till i fell asleep.

I waited for around 1 hour plus already. Which girl would like to wait for quite long after she has already dressed up?

Sigh. I was out of control. Really frustrated due to his late replies. sigh.

The particular thing that adds fuel to the fire was,

Me: What took u so long? I'm all dressed up since just now.

Boyfriend: Umm, nevermind uh no need go if you don't want to.

Me: so what time can i see you?

Boyfriend: Nevermind uh, no need.

And that's when i got all "BOOOOOOMED" up. Yes, i was about to explode. Well, i've exploded anyway after i raised my voice when i called him. I even hung up the phone when he asked me a stupid question. Tsk. He was already outside and he can't simply tell me to meet up at a particular place? Really ..... woah. Don't know how to describe sia.

Whatever it is, I am really upset with him.

My phone battery has ran out so i can't be bothered to even charge my phone.

Sorry for those who can't through me,

I'm gonna sleep after this and have a long rest during the weekend. WEEEEE!!

OK BYE! feel free to ask me questions on Formspring ! :D

2011-08-05T14:32:00.000+08:00

I stripped my jeans at the eleventh hour. LOL. As in, at nite lor. :D
I'm OFF TO TOWN!

Meeting up with Baby at Yishun and then meet my girls! what an opportunity, i'm not fasting today :D hehehee.

Brb with an updated post!

Never a sense of guilt

2011-08-02T20:01:00.003+08:00

This was when i put on some make-up(eyes/lips) but i don't put on powder cause' i just hate em'.

Hi!

Sorry for not updating. really-really am upset/disappointed yesterday plus today(baru je die upsetkan aku lagi) :(

So yesterday, I'm like so happy when he told me he's gonna fetch me from school. Yay-.-

And then when i told him that i end slightly later.

He started giving me reasons that he can't go home late and must reach home by 5 and whatsoever. I trusted him.

I thought maybe he wanted to go home and break fast with the family since it's the first day of the fasting month.

But. ya. He was out with his friends when i saw a check-in facebook telling me that he's at Somerset at 6pm.

What a lie. Who won't get mad? Can't he simply just tell me the truth?

What's the point of lying?

Sigh. I've really got nothing to say.

What more? He can even said, "Oh i'm so sorry, i didn't do it on purpose"

I wonder, do you have a sense of guilt in u?

Plus, you didn't even bother to text me this morning until now -.- WHEN it's UR FAULT.

Not even mine. Macam aku yang bersalah gitu.

Sakit sia hati.

I felt like crying most of the time.

BUT FOR WHAT?! I didn't even do anything wrong.

fuck luh, maybe i'm just a failure.

Whatever i do doesnt make a difference.

Bye.

I'm not perfect.

2011-07-29T20:28:00.002+08:00

HI!

OK. So what's up with today? HMMMM.

i woke up feeling high in ecstasy :P LOL! Nah i'm feeling happy being myself.

At nite, i was pretty surprised when Mummy called out to talk to me. I was very very emotional at that point of time. I got off my bed and started crying eventhough Mum hasn't spoken a word. LOL! she was like, "why are you crying? I haven't started talking." and she smiled.

I went on crying and she hugged me. What more do you need when your family's all there for you? right? :)

I feel so much better after that when Mum said that every member in this family supports you. We brought you to Acne Treatments and all, We observed those improvements in your face so why bother listening to people who doesnt even pay a bill for a single treatment? Instead they commented on your face and brought you down instantly.

I love my family, i swear i do. When i feel like the world's down on me, they pulled me up.

I feel sad for those with families who doesn't give their support to their children until they look out for a way to make them feel Al-mighty. Well, fuck you to that. Heh. I am referring to somebody right here. oh well ;)

I stayed back for English ERP today.

It does help. Seriously, especially on Picture Discussion. I thank Mrs Cheah for making every little time for us. I appreciate that so much.

I finished 80% of my Presentation Board for D&T :)

Left with printing pictures and that's it.

I had a heart-to-heart talk with Shahidah (: My used-to-be-bestfriend.(i guess,still is?) Yeah. We talked out about our feelings and just let it out (:

We just feel so comfortable.

Someone fetched her from school and i went home straightaway. Boyfriend hasn't been contacting me since morning. I wonder why. Oh well.

I guess i'm gonna go fill up my empty stomach.

Granny's been calling out my name to eat.

I THANK THOSE PEOPLE WHO TAUGHT ME TO GET BACK MY CONFIDENCE. I SWEAR I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER THAN EVER AND AFTER THIS, NO BASTARDS GONNA BRING ME DOWN WITH THOSE WORDS UNLESS PHYSICALLY. (chey.)

But i'm certain i won't remain quiet no more.

HEHE. FAIQAH'S BACK! (:

OK GOODNITE!

LOVE YOU READERS.

HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO LOOK LIKE YOU,

YOURSELF.

There's none other that has got something that you got in you.

YOU'RE DIFFERENT.

'Feel good and you'll look good' - Quoted from Ashura .

boyfriend's old blog

2011-07-28T22:16:00.001+08:00

gosh i can't take this.

I feel like crying.

Read my boyfriend's old blog. :/miss those times he would update about us. :(

http://nurfaiqah-ur-mytruelove.blogspot.com/

ok goodnite/

It felt like self-destruction for once.

2011-07-28T21:39:00.003+08:00

hi. Sorry for the 'dead & gone' for a few days,

Yeah, i'm back, just feel like typing down my feelings. Here it goes, ever imagined queueing up for food during recess, feeling so hungry then a guy simply insulted you right in the face?

Yeah. if it was for other girls, 80% of them would probably ignore. But the 20% girls, like me, would eventually BREAKDOWN. Sigh, inside of me, i felt like crying out loud at that point of time but i kept on holding back my tears and bought only a Chicken Burger instead. :'(

my appetite was ruined :/ I didn't talked much after that, didn't crack jokes like i always do.

I kept on staring into thin air, trying hard to hold back my tears. :/

Baby Jh knows that i'm suffering right inside so she kept quiet all the way :/

I felt rather guilty for not talking to some of those innocent beings in my class.

I get affected so easily. Words may be words. But indirectly, it felt just like a self-destruction after they called me, "too ugly".

yeah i know, i know. I'm ugly. enough with it, can already? i can't take it anymore. It's too much for me to bear. :'( I know you people just can't keep those comments to yourself.

Fine, you people won ok. I lost. i give in. Say all you want.

You people just don't know how badly it affects me, my level of self-esteem is getting much much lower than before. I can't stand that. I beg you, people :'(

Because of you people, i couldn't possibly concentrate after recess. Tears kept wanting to rush out from these tired eyes of mine. BUT WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE CARE!? :'(

I admit, I'm ugly.

Bye.

Words of disappointment.

2011-07-22T22:01:00.003+08:00

Ola. I just came back from North Plaza and bought Bubbletea (: Honey Milk Tea!

Hehe. Ok.

Can i share with you, guys?

I'm feeling really really low of myself. Seriously. It was after this 'great' classmate of mine that never fails to insult me and i don't know why. I've never done anything bad towards him and all i received from him are these bad treatments that simply broke me down and got me into depression.

Words like, "ugly, 'thing',"

I hurts me twice as much when he literally described me as a 'thing' when talking to my other classmate in my presence. You know how sick it feels like when you never once treat someone badly but all u received were these kind of treatments?

Sigh. I was so disappointed and veryveryvery down.

I could'nt help but keeping it to myself. I didn't feel like texting at that point of moment.

Sigh. I was about to get out of these stupid depression state but he just loves seeing me like this. :'(

I pray to God i won't be too humble to people anymore. Seriously :'(

So, i complained to Boyfriend about it.

Another thing, it disappoints me when he CANNOT cheer me up. Serious :'(

It tears me twice.

hmm.

I can't blame him though.

Maybe i'm just too sensitive luh.

Aiya.

I go offline now. damn tired .

Love you readers!

WILL RELINK YOU SOON,NANA (:

Angel

2011-07-20T16:18:00.002+08:00

You're my angel, you're my darling angel.

I just got back from school. This song is so sweet can.

Just feel like singing. LOL~

Okie.

MAYBE meeting baby today. Nah, not sure, he hasn't text me .

booooooooooooooooooo.

Tired like siao.

Thought my mum bought for me oreo last nite but she didn't!

Damn it, i was so so so so listless last nite, the moment i landed my head to my pillow, i went into a deep sleep. Pffffffffffft. It was around 9PM when that happened.

It was rather unusual. Maybe because i was too tired perhaps?

Too much school makes me sick. I meant the journey back and forth from school.

Tsk.

Ok byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

M.T LC O's

2011-07-19T20:36:00.002+08:00

I FUCKING LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

SYNYSTER GATES! BRIAN HANER JR.

OK I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM.

SO TODAY.

Listening compre for O's. Had to freaking wait up until 0430 in the afternoon. I went to the D&T workshop and slowly finish up my artefact :) OH YA. i got the pics of my artefacccct.

will upload it pretty soon!

so yeah. Listening compre was hell easy.

okie. damn tired today. Now craving for Oreos.

Damn itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

k bye. tired.

updates

2011-07-17T14:04:00.002+08:00

Hey good afternoon! (:

weeeez , yesterday was so much fun hanging out with Mummy's girlfriend at Mac donalds,CausewayPoint.

:D we gossiped and then i had my chocolate meltz and twister fries. Addictive sia. cb.

then mummy's girlfriend, I called her Mummy Linda (:

She gave me a facial treatment. :)

Weeeeeeeehoooooooo. Then went home around midnight like that. hehee.

Damn tired please. Nothing much to update.

who knows my Twitter, they know everything's there. ;)

Sedih hidup aku oi.

k bye.

FEAR NO BITCH

2011-07-12T21:42:00.002+08:00

WHOOPWHOOP.

I am happy - sad = for today.

Nah i don't know. Hehehe. so here's what happen in school.

I was so excited after i heard some news passed from a classmate.

Aiseh. Imagine a person talking indirectly about him/herself? Yeah. that's what i'm talking about.

well hey, you? you wanna bring me down LOW to your standard?

Hell no, you're way dirtier than me. Perhaps when you pushed ur chair to the back with no hesitation when i was walking pass by you, I should be doing that,

Cause you know why? You're a disease, yourself. Like, look at how many guys you've surrendered ur body to, girl? ;)

Heh. I'm just spitting the facts here unlike you, storytelling to people about me when you're the one who acted out in those "scenes".

Hehe. funny shit i swear. Plus, calling me ugly isn't pulling me down in any ways.

That's so loooooooooooooong ago when i used to get depressed over such comments.

But hey, sorry.

Now i don't listen to comments coming from a 'girl' like you.

Even from other people cause i ALREADY know myself.

I DON'T NEED A PERSON LIKE YOU TO BE TELLING ME THAT. ;)

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

ok. so after school, attended for Maths Class and sat for a test.

Went to Yishun and met up with boyfriend ^^

Guess he know me very well this time round cause i get angry easily when i have to wait.

Sorry. I would'nt have changed this way but yeah. I don't wanna talk about the pasts.

Ok. we sat around and sing,laughed,'Sheesha" ! LOL

then something happened after i saw some girl flirting in his TalkBox.

Oh well, i was shocked, very.

You know, when you've been hurt for so many times. Even a small matter could hurt you worser than anything else.

So that's what i went through just now. It's needless to say so i kept my mouth shut .

I went home with a heavy chest :/

The moment i reached home, i spout it all out to him and he called me up asking me to view her profile. I tried searching but that 'cute' girl is nowhere to be found facebook.

Yeah found her account. added her up.

Just waiting for the motherfucking request accepted.

i'm done.

FEAR NO BITCH MAN.

GOODNITE.♥

Fucked up oral.

2011-07-08T21:52:00.002+08:00

hi hi.

I had MotherTongue O' levels today. And fuckin' hell shit i was stucked while having the conversation. Damn it, my mind suddenly screwed everything up when i could'nt think of any more ideas about the tourism-attractions in Singapore. I fuckin'ly grabbed Singapore Zoo from the passage and Sentosa as the common for an examples to the questions. Cb.

I did so badly! Fuck, my mothertongue really bochup. But my english i can keep talking without a pause!

The moment i stepped out the Library, I could'nt control a tear and i went crying.

My malay teacher looked deep into me and asked me what happened.

I told her that everything didn't go as smooth as expected and i barely answer to the questions asked. She nodded and said, " it's ok Faiqah, At least you've tried ur very best. There's still the next component which could help you out for good grades for your Malay. Cool down and have a rest ok?"

I was really touched but i kept on crying. LOL. Friends came up to me and asking me why. Gosh, i was so touched by them, deeply i am.

I rushed out of the school and saw boyfriend waited for me patiently. I approached him and he got all worried seeing me with tears. As per usual, Boyfriend loves to crack up jokes with the sad story. He went around telling me the tourisms attractions found in Singapore. I was like, :"baby, the oral has already ended."

LOL. He seriously made me smile. I love you, baby :)

We walked around Causeway Point and i swear i love the way he grabs my hand and how he kisses me everytime when we were standing on the escalator.

I was kinda hyper when i was him so i can be defined as a crazy kid right next to him.

LOL. I went talking to myself and he'll go around laughing at me.

I had a whole lot of fun with Boyfriend. Boyfriend met up with Grandma and Mummy :)

I fed him Nasi Lemak and yeah. We went to buy bubbletea and then went home shortly after that.

He was complaining about having backpains. I asked Grandma for some medication for backpains and puts it on his back before he goes home.

Hmm.

He still hasn't text me until now, he could'nt be outside? I don't know.

I was so worried, i tried calling him using the public phone but his phone was off-ed.

I was kinda worked up cause my prepaid has ran out.

Sigh. I texted him a lot of times but there were no replies to it :(

Damn it, i wonder where's he right now. :(

oh ya, i talked to him about my feelings i wrote in my previous post. And he somehow understood everything and phew, he's not angry with me. School is getting rather weird with some teasings about me and a particular guy :/ My classmate is a killer, that Denny seriously needs some UGH.

I'm still waiting for his text/call.

Sigh. I am so worried, Baby call me up quick.

I need to hear from you :/

ok goodnight, i can't believe tomorrow's Saturday.

I love you readers (:

I have twitter and facebook, it;s at my profile (:

Fuckened up feeling.

2011-07-06T18:31:00.004+08:00

Ever had a thinking that you're gonna be alright but you ain't gettin' any better?

Yeah. I'm somehow feelin' the pinch right now.

I don't know how to describe it, it comes and go so easily.

Times when i'm doing at my best, It approaches and i'll start to fall.

I gotta be true. So this is what i felt just now.

I somehow still have feelings for someone and i have to know that i am in a relationship and i would break my boyfriend's heart if he were to find out about this.

But how can i ever explain this?

The worst part is that, the feeling COMES and GO!

I'm just turning into a bitch ain't i? If only my heart was'nt broken previously, i would'nt have this stupid feelings to bother me.

Sigh i thank God somehow i handled things well, I HAVE TO.

I would'nt wanna go another year of sufferings to go through Karma. Hell no.

So here's what i'm gonna do,

- Love Boyfriend. Treasure him with all i could and know who can make me happy every single day cause he's all i have now.

Well, talking about Boyfriend. I'm having a slight tiff with him.

It's kinda pathetic though cause we fought just because of a simple question.

which is,

You're not in the mood, aren't you?

He asked me whether i'm ok and if i'm not in the mood, he would'nt wanna meet up.

I said i was ok all along but Boyfriend knows me well enough and he argued back saying that i'm lying.

By right, i was lying. The actual fact was that i'm trying hard to runaway from that fuckened up feeling plus i'm having menstruation. I'm having moodswings so randomly for 24hours!

Damn it, I hate being a girl. pfft.

Yeah, we're still not in good terms now, He's not texting me and i'm not texting him.

Hahahahah common isn't it? who wants to give in, you tell me?!

HAHAHHA. funny if i were to look back at the argument.

hmm, one day left until O level Mothertongue. Oh hell motherfucker, i gotta start talking in BAHASA MELAYU. tsk. I hateeeee mothertongueeeeee.

Oh well, it's gettin' late. I have not had my meal, i'm not even close to hungry.

Damn you tummy, keep having those cramps and preventing me from eating and getting fat. >:-[

Guess i'm gonna say sorry to him after this.

Sigh, i pray so hard that stupid feeling won't be bothering me anymore. :(

I don't wanna hurt anyone neither do i wanna hurt myself in the end.

I can't bear the pain :(

Guess i'd talk to him about this tomorrow if i were to see him.

hope he'll have his mind wide open.

Hmmm. Goodbye, Love you readers (L)

SCHOOLDAY -_____-

2011-07-05T17:10:00.003+08:00

I'm back from schoool!

i was listening to my own video (below)

Love you readers (L)

photos at MacRitchie Reservoir

2011-07-02T21:13:00.006+08:00

photos at mac ritchie. :)

Have fun!

I am stupd plus ugly.

2011-07-01T16:23:00.002+08:00

they are the best. why?

Cause they KNOW me BEST.

Only them, my family. They were there when i poured tears out like a zombie, NO ONE ELSE.

Where are the others?

Ask them.

Today,

nothing much though, just that i was waiting for someone who vowed that he'd call me during recess time. I never failed holding on tight to my phone, scared i might not feel the vibration when he calls. BUT. He didn't call.

Nope.

I was kinda upset about it but i just gotta remain positive and then waited for after school to come.

I went to meet my teachers for my malay oral practice. My heart pumped so fast upon knowing that teacher's gonna record my voice when tested.

Pfft. I got a topic on Traditional Games. The topic sucks much, i don't even fucking know what to talk about it. I jerked a bit while on a conversation just now. Damn.

I was released shortly at 2pm sharp where i went rushing to the gate hoping to see that someone who vowed he'll see me at 2pm.

But he's not there.

I went down waited at the bus stop, hoping that someone would alight from any one of the 851 bus service. Seven 851 buses passed by me in an hour.

He's not there.

I'm so tired and i could'nt help waiting. The reason why i waited was because i was scared he would have to wait for me when he arrives later on.

A matter of fact, i was just lying to myself.

i went back home.

He's meeting his cousin at 4 then i knew the reason why he didn't turn up.

i wasted my time,yet. AGAIN.

Am i stupid?

Yeah. Stupid + Ugly = Me.

Tell me about it.

And who's that someone i'm referring to?

My boyfriend.

Ok bye.

photographs.

2011-06-26T14:47:00.002+08:00

HEY! Yesterday i went out with Family.

Firstly, we went to search for Henderson Wave at Hort Park. And with the help of the map! We found Henderson Wave. LOL. Ok. so i took some pictures there and i love the wind.

It'll go brushing your face and hair, you tend to feel like you're in Heaven. Chey.

Like real. Hahha.

After that we headed for the KTM railway since it's gonna be closed in one month's time. I told Daddy i wanted to take pictures on the railway track but somehow they have restricted some certain places. So yeah :( Didn't get a chance to snap that much photographs cause the place itself was filled with lots and lots of people. Pffft.

The moment i reached there, it felt like a Deja Vu. But actually, i went there before when i was young. lol me.

Okie. nothing much though. Tomorrow's SCHOOL.

FUCK IT, :(

okie bye readers

down

2011-06-25T11:32:00.003+08:00

hi. I'm so down today.

Nah i don't know, just the feeling i guess

THISISPUREBULLSHIT!

Library with Boyfriend

2011-06-25T00:35:00.003+08:00

HI! I finally have the mood to blog! pffft. Youtube was being a bitch just now! I can't seem to listen to Ashley Simpsons!! So baby snapped this pictureeeeeeeeee.

In the morning, I texted him and i woke up early in the morning at 11AM!

i tried recording some video post butttttt, it was all so trashy and ugly :( So i didn't manage to upload it up here. I texted Boyfriend but he didn't replied me >:-(!
The next thing i knew, I texted him asking what he was he doing, he said he's getting ready to go out. I was like, BLANK. Then yeah he's getting ready to meet me up. LOL.

I only had maggi curry for Breakfast and i can swear that my stomach yearns for moreee! pffft.

Then baby reached under my void deck, we set off to Tampines. The air-con in the bus is seriously not helping at all due to the sunny day! >:-(! SMRT PLEASE UPGRADE YA AIR-CON FACILITIES.

(see what did he draw on his favourite purple paper?! ALIENS! LOL!)

Yeah, went to collect his clothes and then we went o the library but the seats were all taken and i wanted a table and a chair! :( But there isn't any so we headed for Woodlands then. We took 168. One scary incident today, while i was walking to the bus 168, there's a commotion that took place inside a bus i was passing by. An old man was shouting, much enraged over something and he's standing around only a few centimetres infront of the woman he was shouting to. Damn it, I was very scared when i watched but Boyfriend was giving me a look like, "don't be kaypoh."

Hahhhaa. so i headed for the bus. It was very scary. I wonder what happened. Hello! I'm Singaporean ok. LOL!

We took this video. It's very cute! hehehe. we argued after that though somehow :/ he suddenly remained so quiet and it bugs me. We argued for hours and i was frustrated much. :( But the anger in me didn't stay for long. I just can't be angry for too long :/ So i texted him just now.

Yeah everything's sort out and we're fine now :)

♥ Happy 19th Monthsary baby :)

I hope this chance i've given you, you'd make a full use of it cause this is the last straw :)

I don't wanna have us breaking apart again then get back together.

Might as well we stay as one and work things out together.

Thanks for making me happy most of the time.

I appreciate it so much.

Without you, my world seemed empty :(

I just hope you'd take good care of me this time.

And yeah, i hope we take a step further than this.

I love you so much boy♥ (:

Goodnite readers!

UPDATE. PHOTO SPAMZ>

2011-06-24T00:50:00.004+08:00

Hi hi Just now had a tiff with boyfriend. LOL.

KK. i was so bored so i asked Nasirah and Ziiyh for a meet-up. Thank god they lived nearby. I mean Ziiyh lived nearby and nasirah was with her. ^_^

Met up with them at Shop&Save. From far Nasirah shouted my name and she came running to me giving me a hug. How cute. hehe.

Then we searched for a place to sit down :)

Spending time with them is a total laughter throughout, you see.

Then yeah, time flies when we were laughing around.

Boyfriend came.

First thing i was sitting with Ziiyh.

Nasirah: Is that Qifa? in pink?

Me: (cause i couldn't see) I don't think so, he don't wear PINK!

Nasirah: shouts* QIFAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

And it was him,surprisingly. pffft.

We, FIGHT?

It's only for awhile luh. Hahaha. when you put us side by side, we'll be ok already.

Ironic much eh. I know.

Huhu.

I'm bored. I SPAM MY PHOTOS HERE> BAZOOOOOMZ

K BYE! do tag :P

GOODNITE!

so this is your way?

2011-06-23T14:36:00.002+08:00

Hi, second post can? I'm pissed now. LIKE, VERY PISSED.

Lemme ask you, what if someone ask you to accompany him/her and you guys thought of the timing already. After that, you went to get prepared, put on your favourite dress/blouse and then waited for that someone. Then when you texted him/her, he/she never reply you at all.

Then you'll go all patient and waited.

The next thing you knew, he/she texted you, "can we go much later?"

And then when replied showing just how much you were pissed off.

They'll go, "i'll go by myself,nvm"

Pffffffffffffffffffft.

I mean like, "hey! I got all ready and you dare to say that to me?!"

Damn it.

So this is your way to make me happy? thanks.

vlog

2011-06-23T13:12:00.003+08:00

Instead of Blogging, I Vlog. Ok lol maybe cause i don't wanna type much so i summarised it in a video. I'm ugly i know. Ok that's it. My tagboard dead, TOLONGGGG. LOL.

K bye, love you readers!

Another post. Insecurities. Independence

2011-06-23T01:26:00.002+08:00

Hi im bored. I can't sleep or maybe i am sleepy but Boyfriend asked me to wait so i am currently waiting for him but he hasn't come back for half an hour already :( Guess he's asleep?

Sigh i don't know.

Can i share something?

Ever had a feeling that people who were there for you actually stood there only for secrets?

Yeah. Nah just random ya know.

I noticed nowadays. Oh well.

Skip from that.

I wanna talk about insecurities/things i do to getaway.

Insecurities suck BIG time. LIKE BIG, ENORMOUS.

Cause it does. You know when your boyfriend suddenly replied you so damn late and you'll be throwing your phone all over the place just for a stupid reply? And when you knew, the reply was a simple, "oh ok i miss you too" that kind?

It sucks doesn't it?

I'd always go around telling myself. "nah its fine, he can't be texting me all the time right?"

Sometimes i'd wish to do back but i can't.

You know, i really hate doing bad things to others cause from the start, my mindset is fixed that the word "karma" would literally BOOMED into my mind like some projection.

Then i'll go, Ok i can't do this to him/her cause if i do,i'm gonna get back twice of that shit.

Yeah i refrained.

But do you think by doing something nice would make you feel better?

Ask yourself.

Maybe it would, literally. But not for long as the feelings start to bottle up and then you tend to feel like shit. Utter shit.

Just an advice,

Don't be too nice to people, some will appreciate and take note of the good things you do but others don't . cause why? They're simply that way, you can't change them.

Yes you can be nice, but don't be TOO nice cause people will tend to take advantage of you since you won't complain,get mad or whatsoever.

Humans.

And plus, Don't be too independent on an individual.

You'll get a hard time if they were to betray/leave/ignore you.

Please don't. Just have some time and try to be by yourself without the need of having someone to be around me.

You have to learn to stand on your own. BY YOURSELF.

Cause at the end of day, YOU die ALONE. nobody's gonna be buried with you in your grave.

No way. My dad always tells me, "don't be afraid to lose friends now cause you have yet to enter the real world when it comes to job in years to come."

At first i didn't wanna listen but thinking back, its true. I'm still young. There's more to come.

What happens today meant nothing at all compared to the future.

Ok done.

True that my boyfriend fell asleep. Know him well enough.

I'm turning in now, gonna peee and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I HAVE TO DO MY HOMEWORK TOMORROW.

FML.

Goodnite lovely readers (: do tag!

Today

2011-06-23T00:21:00.002+08:00

Hi. I wanted to blog ALOT today but it seems that the mood has changed overtime. :/

Guess its gonna be a short post. :-O

I wonder who's reading my blog. i bet no one :/

Ok. First thing, i was so lazy today. Just Lazy. I woke up at 1PM. Boyfriend texted me in the morning telling me that he's going off to JB.

The moment i woke up, he reached there alr. Lol.

Nothing much, i tried doing homework. I sat infront of a thick file of papers.

I tried doing the English paper. But i only answered two questions.

Damn it, i got no mood at all to do any theories.

Hm. I went to my Aunty's place at Vista Point. There's two babies over there.

And i swear i love them so much. So cute and mushy-mushy! Grrrr.

Oh well. Then reached home. I massaged Mum. And slowly we came to a topic whereby it includes me and boyfriend. Mum was like saying, "Make sure you guys are just friends eh, no steady-steady or whatever eh, later he ask for break then you go crazy. "

Lol,i was shocked that she wasn't mad. lucky me.

I miss boyfriend so much since he was away for so looooooooooooooong.

I can't stand the fact that my world seems lonely without him.

Hmm.

Ok.

All i know, I'm just hanging onto the phrase, "don't fall too deep."

Yeah. A matter of fact, inside of me, i'm terrified. Yes.

I'm not that completely concrete and fixed.

I can't guarantee that.

Tell me what am i supposed to do. It's been two days these weird feelings has been taking over me. :/

I have no answers to it. Only God knew how it feels like.

Neither i can't find the answers for myself.

Guess i have to wait a while more.

Oh well.

Goodnite.(L)

said you'll make me happy.

2011-06-20T23:37:00.003+08:00

That (points up) shows what my life's about. Hidden. Bottled up. :|

Hmm. I don't know what's up. Just my feelings perhaps.

You know when you broke a glass, even if you hold it up with a glue. It'll still look broken.

Yeah. Imagine that brokened glass is me. I'm not as weak, I'm more than fragile than i used to, another fall and i'd be into pieces; this time worse.

I fear not being handled with care.

If i were to be given a chance, i wanna be in pieces where i could hurt the person who broke me.

Everything's a theory now. It can't be done practically though.

SKIP>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I wanna talk about my mummy. I had a long conversation with Mummy just now when we went out to Admiralty for awhile.

I asked, "have you been to the club? what is it like?"

Mummy answered,"it's fun. a lot of fun but you gotta be careful."

I asked, "but mum, if someday me and sister were to visit the club someday, will you allow?"

Mummy answered," yeah sure, i can bring you guys there someday. you can get in free :)"

I was like. OK.

Then mum told me about her pastimes where she'd be rather wild. Somehow. haha. How she'd enter club with my aunties while my cousins sleepover at my house.

Gosh, I didn't know she's like that. I thought she's those type of a good daughter. Chey.

Hahaha. Oh well.

That's it then.

I'm feeling rather lonely now.

Hmm.

Oh well, goodnite readers. I'm having Mothertongue Oral tomorrow. O's somemore. Die.

Love (L)

Photography.

2011-06-19T20:07:00.000+08:00

Which way should i turn? North/East/South/West? Where's my Mr.Right standing at? I don't wanna end up at the wrong side of the Earth.

Can you see just how beautiful the reflection of the trees and the skies reflected by the sea?
That's how wide my love's for you.

HELLO.

I'm just updating with pictures today. Hell yeah i love the nature. The feeling of snapping a photograph of it makes me feel calm.

I know my photography is not that professional cause' i'm still taking baby steps in towards of becoming a photographer. I wanted that badly.

I'll see how i'd do for my O's and get into the course to learn more about the skills.

Ok let me skip.

I went out the whole day with Family.

I felt kinda left-out, well not wholly but it's just the feeling.

You know, the feeling of, "he/she'll text me soon. I know he/she will."

Yeah that feeling. I waited, checked my phone for several times. It's just blank.

Hmm. Talking about that.

I've been texting Boyfriend eversince i reached home using the Starhub Websms.

Somehow, when i texted him. I wonder if that message seemed special to him or not.

Nah i don't know cause there's no replies to it.

I just don't wanna say anything uh.

Oh well, bye.

Maybe next time i should just update if i've got any nice photographs to be posted. ;)

Takecare readers, Muah.

updated,

2011-06-17T23:49:00.002+08:00

Hi. Yes we got back. Yay. On his birthday that falls on 3rd June 2011.

So basically, i took him back cause i feel that the next time he could take good care of me.

I just feel that i still need him to be around me.

I just wanna give him a chance and see what miracles could happen if i were to take him back.

Things went well, yes. Starting of a relationship is always the best but sometimes when it ends, you might need a physiotherapy. I bet cha. Or you might break ya eyes when you go on cryin' for weeks/months/years/beers. LOL. kk stop it.

Hmm. What i feel about him?

I'm starting to pick myself up and give it another try. I love him,yes :)

I hope things would work out well.

It takes both to make a perfect reationship. Not only one. It takes two.

we'll see about it ;)

Thanks to my girlfriends for givin' me their best support eventhough they warned me not to get back with him :/

I love them and my boyfriend.

seeing my princesses tomorrow (:

Goodnite lovers.

I miss you,actually.

2011-05-15T20:57:00.002+08:00

♥

You look at those pictures right above? What pops into ur mind?

Sweet couple? Loving? Happy? We can last?

Yes, Possible.

Cause we WERE once very sweet back then, VERY loving, everywhere you see me, he'll be standing right beside hugging my waist, VERY happy, we laughed hard, we talked loud(nonsense) and just everything that's counted as HAPPY. We can last? We COULD but time was too harsh to hold on a single bit, i chose to let it go.

It's been months i've collected tears.

He was the reason behind the smile i used to put on my face.
He was the reason why I laughed so hard till my tummy hurts.
He was the reason why i slept with a smile.
He was the reason why I never looked for another.
He was the reason why I woke up with a smile.
He was the reason why I never put on a frown (except when he teases me).
He was the reason why I never walked alone.
He was the reason why I had someone to turn to when i have friendship problems.
He was the reason why I put up my fears.
He was the reason why I spent my whole time with.
He was the reason why I'm in love.

And those reasons are the reasons why he's still so clear in my memory, Never faded, Never disappeared of my mind.

But where did he go? Where has he gone to, for far too long? Leaving me with scars and fears i have to face with never ending tears rolling down my face?

Is there any reasons why he left?

Is there any reasons why this 'heartbreaker' took over him?

I don't know.

All i've been asking myself was,

Have i EVER do any wrong towards you?
Have i EVER treated you badly?
Have i EVER played with your feelings?
Have i EVER left you alone?
Have i EVER tried going for any other guys when i'm with you?
Have i EVER not care about your feelings?

Yes, i admit.

I've been very hot and cold towards you after we broke up.

I tried to release the hatred and made you feel regret.

And that's the worst thing i've ever done in my whole life which is to hurt someone that i used to love so much.You know that i'm never close to that kind of person.

Sometimes i may sound so caring towards you, talking to you as per normal.

i am still confused why do you kept coming back and forth towards me.

Tell me the reasons why i should stay?

tell me what else can you do to convince me?

I know you can't.

I know you'd do nothing.

Even if you're reading this,

Have you ever felt a sense of pain in you?

How would you feel?

Would you even appreciate what i have typed down?

would you take note of the things you should do?

I miss the guy who used to make me smile like in the pictures above.

I miss the guy who never failed to be right next to me when i needed him.

I miss the guy who would do whatever he could so that i'm comfortable with him.

(Remember the Pasir Ris Park incident when my slipper suddenly got spoiled and you borrowed me ur slippers all the way till Woodlands?)

Why must he turned into a beast?

What did i do wrong towards him!?!

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU TILL I HAVE TO RECEIVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT?!

why?

I don't even understand the reason why this tears kept rolling when i'm asking these questions,

My feelings towards you is like in between Hatred and Love.

How i wished i could regain this relationship and never make it fall at once.

How i wish it was as perfect as how it started .

Too bad, those are only WISHES i could make that could NEVER come true.

tell me what else i should do? :'(

How could you do this to me after all the things i've done for you, us? :'(

akukangensamakamu.

sigh. goodnight cruel world.

You're giving me too much pain.

I would've just taken a knife and stab right through my heart and YOU witness my death.

the perfect one.

2011-05-15T14:15:00.003+08:00

Hey peepos.

Ok, i'm like so enthu now to update my blog. Don't know why.

Hahhaa. ok.

I came up with, "I don't need a 24-hour boyfriend, all i need is someone who would never gave up on me."

yeah. Ok yesterday i watched, Just Go With It. The story's about a man who lied to girls that he's married so that he can have sex with them(he never had with any) yeah. Then one fine day, one girl caught his eyes. He spent some time with the girl and he hid the ring, the girl found the ring and asked him whether he's married and she sounded pretty angry cause she's scared that she's just another bitch breaking up people's marriage.

then, this guy did whatever he could to get this girl, how sweet? he sent a bouquet of roses in person. He asked his personal assistant to be his 'wife' , since the girl wants to meet her up.

the funny thing is, they acted like husband and wife, he spent time with the 'wife's' kids and yeah. They spent most of their time together instead of putting the girl as a subject of why they started this whole thing.

One night, the girl asked the guy to marry her.

But on that night, the guy has just developed feelings for his personal assistant.

so he felt very uneasy about that, he can't sleep at night.

He called the Personal Assistant and they talked for awhile.

The personal assistant acted as if she had no feelings for him but she does indirectly.

Because she's very touched by the things a guy could do just to get a girl that he's attracted to.

that day, the guy cancelled the marriage and told the personal assistant that he love her.

And yeah, they got together.

Sometimes the perfect one is right infront of you but you kept running for others.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I'm missing somebody :(

Ok bye.

tae yang

2011-05-14T13:14:00.001+08:00

Im addicted to thisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
WOAH.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.

ok bye.

Carl is back :)

2011-05-12T18:07:00.000+08:00

Harrow.

Lemme' tell you that i AM very HAPPY last night :)

Cause ya, I finally talked to Carl :) I mean like, i just said, 'buddy?'.

Then he said, 'yooo, suuuup?'.

Then i was OMG he replied luh. (Y)

I MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HIM CAN.

bill,your little comeback ain't gonna shake me.

If playin' me is what you really love to do.

I'm sorry.

You might stop lovin' this things cause i ain't gonna entertain ya a single bit.

I made my way to cheer u up cause i promised you, i'd be there.

Don't come around and start ur game.

I ain't playin' with ya bullshit.

~~Good~~bye.

D,u changed.

2011-05-11T15:21:00.003+08:00

I'm IN LOVE with that SYNYSTER MOTHERFUCKIN' GATES \m/

hehehehe

i'm like so bored so i went to Cameroid.com and SPAM. LOL. the tank top i'm wearing is like the lollipop the ChuppaChups xP I loike the colour pleassssssssssssssse. :D

OH YA!

Oh man, in the morning i was like, SO SO SO disappointed. I SWEAR K :(

Something happened lor. I didn't expect that lor. :(

I almost wanted to cry but sigh, what can i do about it anyway? :(

I told baby Jh bout' it. She understands. Sigh, you changed so much, D. :(

BOOOOO. Nvm luh :) i gotta be happy can, at least i;m happy with name on my fingers :P

Tomorrow i'm ending at around 9AM :)

WOAHHHHHHHHHH SYIOK! :P

Got one cute guy knock on the door just now, he needs to pass a letter for my dad. His hands were like shaking, HOW CUTE? LOL!

I sleepy sia.

I WANT MY BABY SYN!

K BYE .

HEHEHE.

2011-05-10T20:45:00.002+08:00

THISISFORSOMEBODY.

SORRY ME VOICE IS NOT NICE. :D I WAS TOO EMO SO I WENT SINGING NIA.

Thatsomebody's MY HAPPINESS.

2011-05-10T15:43:00.003+08:00

Wo yao ni. :(

Hmmmmmmmmmm. Ok.

So it's like , That somebody's my happiness but maybe someone confiscated that somebody from me.

IDONTKNOWWHATTOSAYBUTEVERYTHING'SRUNNINGDOWNINME.TALKTOMESOON,

IMDYINGTOTALKTOYOU.ITSLIKEANEMPTYROOMWITHOUTANYWALLS,IFELTSOBOTHERED

YOUCAMETOMYDREAMSANDILOVETHEWAYYOUSETINCAUSETHEMOMENTIWAKEUP,

I'DBESMILINGLIKEACRAZYKID.IMISSYA.BUTIMSCAREDTOTALKTOYOU:(

.NOOSKCABEMOC

Ji mo Ji mo Jiu hao.

2011-05-08T23:52:00.003+08:00

sad.

SO WHATS UP?

Something new i've came to know.

Bill actually MOVED ON. Yeah. Shocking much i know right. But they've just broke up recently cause Bill can't possibly forget about the previous ex. :-/

I don;t know what to say :/

hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

the song is nice eventhough i dont really know the lyrics.

The title is , Ji Mo Ji Mo Jiu Hao.

It means, - Lonely lonely more good.

But quite sad lor if you pay attention to the video.

I MISS SOMEBODY :'(

times when we played Angry Birds, and we'll get so engrossed killing those piggy(s). :( i came to that thought when i looked at the Angry bird soft toy my baby bro bought. (cute kan aku. chey xD) ya, missed those times Bill. those times.

Today so hottttttttttttttt.

I'm like one fried chicken nia at home.

pftttttttttt.

bye

Tmr going out with my babygirls for breakfast :)

Does it matter if you look ugly?

2011-05-05T20:30:00.001+08:00

Does it matter if you look ugly?

Answer here

Carl :(

2011-05-02T16:15:00.002+08:00

I went to the zoo just now (;
How cute is this?!
Snapped by me (:

Can i continue a story about Aliyah?

Ok, here it goes, Aliyah's feelings toward Carl is getting more and more deeper :/

Every night, Carl would come to her dreams and she'd smile while she sleeps.

Wondering why did he have to go?

hmmmmmm.

sad life isn't it?

but those thoughts of him gave her the reason to smile.

Ok bye readers (:

suay

2011-05-01T16:26:00.002+08:00

Hey. so boring today right.

You can like dig ur nose and find the weirdest treasures sia. -.-

today so suay. I spilled the bubbletea, then kicked it and walked off to buy a new one -.-

what a waste of money, blame my brother asking me to buy for him and all -.-

(lol, when i know it was my fault.)

Then yeah, two indian men picked up the bubbletea cup and mopped the floor.

I felt rather bad, so i went up to them and apologised :/

Man, Aliyah's missing Carl right now ); bet Bill's flirting now. oh well, Bill no longer put 'Engaged' in Facebook after Aliyah deleted him. What's next?

Let me guess, Bill will change his profile picture soon (;

(his profile pic now is overlayed with Aliyah's pic on it)

P.S: if you guys dont know who are they, (the names mentioned), go back to previous posts.

So yeah. i'm going out soon. Bye.

2011-05-01T00:39:00.002+08:00

Bring me back to life );

2011-04-27T19:26:00.002+08:00

Hello. Aliyah had a tough night last night, tossed and turn trying to sleep but yet her eyes were playing pictures of the past, like some movie trailer. Hmm. She prayed to God, crying as she vows just how much she missed the old Bill who was once so sweet/caring/loving but now what Bill is, he's just a devil, a king of all heartbreakers.

Aliyah coped well in school, somehow with the smile on her face.

Like some heavy burden on her chest.

Carl's online now but she could'nt help but think back of the times they used to chat so happily like some close buddies but now, only silence left a space in between them.

She cried knowing Carl's just ignoring her now.

She cried cause she had no idea why's that so.

Tell me what would you do if you were Aliyah? :'(

Bye.

Flirting is a hobby for Bill.

2011-04-26T16:58:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Another continuation story about Aliyah.

Aliyah had a sleepless night last night. She could'nt sleepwell and all she think about was her messed up life. Bill's always makin' her more and more upset. Almost everyday.

Aliyah cried reading a text message from Bill that simply tore her apart.

She could'nt help less but cry out in the middle of the Chemistry lesson.

Maybe Bill has already have someone else in mind. But why must he be hanging around still with Aliyah when he has someone else in mind? Guys.

Bill find it a normal thing to have some fun with another girl and simply told Aliyah that he wasn't flirting a single bit cause they're just close friends.

Just because Aliyah has been so close with Carl but she didnt go to a certain extent of pinching eachother cheeks or even touch a single bit.

Aliyah's standing strong now!

She will try not to contact Bill anymore, maybe just in Cyber. Too bad for Bill then.

Aliyah will be changing her number pretty soon.

And she ain't gonna update her cousin and precisely, Bill.

Aliyah's too tired now, she's off to sleep.

Love you bits.

A story about a girl.

2011-04-25T18:21:00.003+08:00

Hi.

Here's a story about a girl named Aliyah.

Yes, she exist but that's not really her real name.

Here's how the story goes.

Aliyah has an ex-boyfriend, they just broke up for about 1 month now.

They broke up because Aliyah could'nt stand the pain of long waits and being cheated all these while so she let go.

Aliyah's ex boyfriend named, Bill.

He kept runnin' back for Aliyah but Aliyah only has mixed feelings that can't be expressed nor to be understood. Bill was so desperate for her comeback and wanted to stop schooling despite knowing that Aliyah hates a guy that doesn't have an education.

Aliyah was speechless, even words could'nt change Bill's mindset.

Aliyah thought she has found someone new.

Someone that maybe could make her happy throughout her life.

But those smile of hers were just temporary.

Aliyah tried to make it up everyday to put up a smile for her girlfriends.

Behind those smile, she was just an ordinary broken-hearted girl crying inside of her room and nobody knows except Allah.

Aliyah suddenly had a crush on someone.

That particular someone named Carl was a very charming guy that brought her to the movies and they both cracked laughters about the childhood memories they encountered.

Aliyah then thought Carl's someone new that she have came across with.

Days goes by, Aliyah began to grow feelings for Carl but the feelings was rather insecure as she can't accept the fact that most part of her heart was occupied by Bill.

Aliyah tried everyday to not fall for Carl and sometimes act rather cold towards Carl so that she won't fall deeper. As days goes by, Aliyah's feelings towards Carl began to grew even more.

She could'nt find an answer.

Soon, Carl suddenly ignored Aliyah and never talked to her again don't know of what reasons there was.

Aliyah began to breakdown , not believing that Carl 's the type of person that comes and go as and when he likes, knowing that he's just an ordinary guy.

Aliyah never failed looking at Carl's Facebook profile but Carl could'nt care less of replying her inbox message in facebook or even a reply of SMS.

Aliyah had a hard time running back anfd forth in reality.

Not knowing what's best of both worlds.

She doesn't knows when's the right time she could be happy.

In wanting to accept Bill back, it's gonna cause her life if Bill's gonna play around with her heart again. Aliyah's too afraid of getting back with Bill.

Aliyah;s just trying her best to be nice with people and not let them down.

But sometimes being nice just let her down in every way.

Aliyah wished Bill a happy 17th monthsary that could have taken place.

Bill's just making her more afraid to get him back.

Aliyah's crying now.

Cause nobody appreciates.

And who may you ask this Aliyah would be,

It's the girl typing these words from the start.

i'm ugly, yay.

2011-04-15T20:42:00.002+08:00

hi. Annual Awards Day was a killer. In the morning, i was kinda moody :/ i don't know why. Baby jinghui didn't come to school today. Even recess, i bought myself a chocolate milk instead of some meal or something, just the feeling. :/ Damn weird leh. hm.

Then after school i was so happy to meet up with Baby Jinghui. Went to KFC to have our lunch. I bought the one-dollar cheeze and it made my day. LOL.

ohmygod. then yeah i was too full, we walked around for awhile and met up with Baby Jin Xian (:

Heheheh. then i took the bus back to school. Yes today's holy hot man the weather. Man.

ya, we assembled in class for about haalf and hour -.-

very sian, i swear.

ya, at the hall.

Having some PERFECT classmate sitting right next to me -.-

kept on criticising me. Nice hobby you got there. I was like holding back my tears with those criticisms (: But yeah you did a great job right there!

WOOOO. -.-

k bye.

ya i ugly ok bye

formspring.me

2011-04-06T20:13:00.001+08:00

You ask me, i answer <3 http://formspring.me/IeqahhEderra
bored ):

out with bestbuddy.

2011-03-26T22:48:00.002+08:00

Lemme' introduce to you, Hamdani Hazrin. Hahahhaa my long-lost primary school friend that appeared in FaceBook after four years! LOL. so yeah.

I went out with him today. He was like, "the last-minute planner kind-of-person" you see.

SO yeah, we met up at Somerset (;

We were like arguing about who's taller. Ohmygod. since the show started late, we had a few hours to spend, we sat at a particular place and talked for 1 hour plus!!!! unbelievable right?

I have to persuade him to take photo if not no photos are taken today xD

then yeah, after the show, he sent me home (;

Then yeah thanks Best Buddy for the awesome day (;

I know it's hurting u but it's killing me,

2011-03-15T15:37:00.002+08:00

Hello! (;

I'm back. been breaking down lately ); One time i'd be so strong! and another moment, i'd be crying out loud begging for mercy, seriously ); Sorry i didn't tell you earlier that i might fall. But i knew even if i were to tell you, you won't be there to catch me.

Oh well. Yesterday was awesome. In the morning, went to eat breakfast with Baby Jh. Woah we were so full till don't know how to describe what's satiated man. hehehee. then in malay erp, teacher treat the class KFC (; We had chickens ^u^ but yeah i was so very full. Every moment i feel like vomiting all out the food that i consumed. :/ My body so weird nowadays );

Ya. so today.

I rushed to school for my Mock Exams. Yeah.

Damn funny uh, Alif was sitting right next to me. When it comes to a point when the time's ticking and it's almost time to hand in the test paper.

He turned to me and asked for MCQ answers. HAHHAHAA

very funny k. then done with Mock Exam. I'm feeling so sensitive today.

I can even cry after reading my own compo, how weird? Hhahahahah. k.

Cause i wrote about deaths you know. Mana tak sedih,kan kan kan?

After school, i'm feeling so emotional can );

Went to the strawberry milk, );

Then walked to Back Gate to the 966 bus stop. Man, i was breaking down really badly :/

Cause all i'm thinking about was the beautiful memories when we took the same path and laughed throughout. sigh. And that moment i was walking all by myself );

Ya. What to do );

k. Guess i'm done.

Hehhee. Now i'm like Unholy Confession-ing man \m/ !

I VERY UNHAPPY NOW THATS WHY!

Nak headbanging uh bye ;P

oh well well well.

2011-03-12T12:23:00.002+08:00

HIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

Lemme raise the topic on the question posted on my formspring.

every 3 days must get doggy styled by your boyfriend?

That question suddenly appeared in my formspring after i posted my blog on Facebook.

Woots o.O Who is that person who asked me that question? :/

Hahhahahaa its a black person i guess, confirmed! GUARANTEED. Fuuuuuuh, she wanna make me the same standard as her :( Sorry your used-to-be dogfriend can't seem to help you this time :(

I'm not that loooooooooooooooooooooow as you :( sorry CUPCAKE? :(

cb i fucking bitch sia. But nevermind, she asked for it. i keep quiet, you start again. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT MAN!? pfft.

K, i woke up this morning at around 0800AM!

I woke up so earlyyyyyy! xP I don't know why.

Oh well. Ya, i saw one inbox message from Muhamad Syafiq.

Yes, i know, i know you're sorry.

But this time, i don't know why, my heart's too hard to please :( sigh,

Nevermind.

Just hope you'll find someone better, you'll get back up soon right away when a princess knocks your heart in the coming days :')

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Me? Love life?

I don't know, like very bitter like that,towards guys.

BECOME LESBIAN? My babygirls are all insisting me to become one.

but no babies, i don't wanna be a lesbian :(

guess i'm just gonna do something for my O's then get busy with work after that :(

But all i know, now that pains me is,

THE MEMORIES.

Now i heared the cat meow-ing downstairs, makes me think of you.

when you used to act like some kitty-cat beside me then meow-ing and move your head upwards and downwards on my shoulder. :(

OKAY FUCK IT.

Ieqah, cut it off man.

K, i changed my Facebook name.

Ieqahh Chubbychumchum!

hahahahhahahahahhaa i thought of baby jh then i came up with that!

Hehehhehehehee kk byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

And the reason is you

2011-03-11T21:58:00.003+08:00

hi.

we, broke, up. yeah. sigh.

I don't know what was i supposed to say. cause i'm the one who insisted this breakup :/

Not that i'm having someone else or i don't love him anymore. In fact, I do. I love him so much but loving him so much is just bringing me too much pain as time comes. Babygirls were very concerned of me, they were my 'eye opener', making me think of the consequences i might go through if i were to stay. Thinking back, how true is that i can't imagine. I burst into tears and i couldnt care less of my surroundings. :/

You said life would be different without me, In what way?

Through all these weeks, it's been just me, alone. Where were you? All i know, you were just too busy to have time for me. And how was i disappointed when i knew you could have time for your friends but not for me? even though i cried like some fool thinking u'd just make an effort to make me smile. yes, a lil effort by calling me up and all, but do you think i'm satisfied?

All i needed was just to hug you so tightly on that day before we broke up. :/

But you just can't be there even though i waited for an hour for you. I thank God my babygirls were right beside me when i was having a hard time. Why is it so hard for you to have the initiative to call me up using ur friend's phone or even a public phone? If i ever crossed your mind, tell you what, YOU WOULD. You would just do anything to inform me cause YOU KNOW that i WILL come down and WAIT for you. Why must you wait till i call you? Why arent your friends being nice to lend you just TEN-CENTS to make a call? You see, it's just the thought that counts, baby.

Thinking back, Who am i anyway?

If i was SOMEONE to you, even asking for TEN-CENTS won't kill. When it comes to you, I'd do whatever i could so as to tell you if i'm late or i've reached, just to tell you in case you've been waiting for me quite long. And when it comes to you, I rushed.

I rushed and in the end, I'm the one who waits.

Did i complain anything about it? Or, Was i ever angry towards you?

Nope, i'm pretty sure i was'nt at all.

Even if you took hours, I sat down there. With all i could, killing the time by listening to songs and sitting without any seat. My back aches so badly, did i complain?

Sigh, knowing all my sacrifices were just for show, aint it?

Even by appreciating it is sucha big thing for you to do.

Ya, maybe i'm just not as pretty.

nah i don't know, or maybe it's just you?

FROM THAT POINT OF TIME WHEN YOU TOLD ME,

"I've been heartbrokened for several times, i fear heartbreaks."

Can i say that back to you?

From that moment, I've been very aware of your feelings, always taking care of it, just avoid doing anything that'll make you cry/sad/angry/disappointed.

I tried all i could but none of my efforts were appreciated.

What else do you want,love?

What else? Just, what's lacking in me? hm?

I SWEAR I HAVE NO IDEA.

And the reason why i asked you for break-up,

I JUST WANT YOU TO REALISE, OPEN UP YOUR HEART,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US? Or, ME?

If you were'nt like this before, i guarantee you, i'd never leave neither would i have sleepless nights or even have doubts in you.

You started the fire.

And i was putting out the fire by forgiving you for every small - big mistakes you've done.

I tried hard but the flame kept on enraging furiously till i lost control of it.

if you think u deserve someone better, As you wish,

MOVE ON.

I've nothing left to say. I'm tired :(

bye.

You're my motivation.

2011-03-06T14:38:00.002+08:00

hi. that's me, junior me.

K. i damn angry now. Thanks. Aku bangun pagi-pagi semata-mata nak check ada message ke tak. Check-check takda you. Punya sedih, kata-kata pun takda guna man. serious aku cakap.

I was glad that boyfriend has finally recovered from his sickness. Cool. Im glad.

Ya. Then what i hate the most is, I didnt finish my food. You know how desperate of me trying to gain fats? Yeah. I almost threw up all the food i gobbled up. -.-

Irritating righhhhhht? Eh body, Seriously, i give you food, you throw away. Jangan membazir boleh tak? :( Buat lah fats ke apa ke :(

Hmpft. love, I know indirectly, you want the best for me. But i swear, i'm telling you now,

You're making it worse for me, Don't tell me when i needed you, you can't be there just because i had to study. No way baby, thats not the way. I'm telling you, we need commitment here okay?

You can't expect me to follow your way cause i can't easily adapt straight away. I'm different okay? You can't compare me with other girls. I'm not those type that can stay away from you for days/months/years. Sigh. All i know is, YOU'RE MY MOTIVATION RIGHT HERE.

What's studies when you're not there? I might as well sleep in class right? And kept failing every tests, that's not the way you want things to be right baby? I appreciate you wanting me to do my best for O's but i might need your help too. I told ya, YOU'RE MY MOTIVATION.

When you went disappearing, jangan harap buku, nak pandang pensel pun i tak nak okay.

Please. There's no need to ignore my text messages or what. You're making things go worse.

I promise you baby. We can talk about this and the way things can go smoothly.

I love you bye.

2011-03-02T19:54:00.002+08:00

EH HI!

I KNOW YOU DONT MISS ME UH.

IM BORED. KAY IM HUNGRY

I VERY SAD NOW. VERY VERY SAD. IM LIKE ONLY HAPPY DURING THE DAY LOL. I PASSED ALMOST ALL MY SUBJECTS. I DID SAY, 'ALMOST ALL' MY COMBINED HUMANS CMI -.- :(

I VERY LONELY NOW. BOYFRIEND NO MOOD.

WOAH SIBEI LONELY.

K BYE -.-

2011-02-23T19:06:00.002+08:00

Everything's not right, now, just now, The whole day luh.

-.-

Kept crying listening to this song, Sigh, i dont know whats with myself. well enjoy the song.

2011-02-20T20:03:00.003+08:00

Morning, woke up early, off-ed to Kampong Glam.

Had a MALAY TRADITIONAL SET OF FOOD. NICE BABY!

HELL NICE. i was like adding plates of rice mansccs! I love it :)

Next, Off to Mount Faber.

We drove up and took lotsa picturesssss ^v^!

Yeah. Thats it i guess. I've been lazy to update :(

dont know why.

My life is now just the same as the song, Playing With God - Paramore.

People if you think you're too holy, think again. ARE YOU?

Goodnight! :)

Happy 1 year 2 months in advance,

2011-01-24T19:36:00.002+08:00

Hello. Yes school was boring, sleepy, lethargic. Name me any words that says, T-I-R-E-D.

Percisely, My saturday was burnt up by Flag Day and i reached home around 8PM. The next thing, Sunday's the only day i had one day's rest but not fully cause Dad's at home.

Today's, Two periods all the way. If i could choose between sleeping and studying, I would wanna close my eyes and study at the same time -.- impossible. Fcuk so tired :(

Meet up with baby at Toa Payoh and he's like waiting for me patiently. So cute! ^v^!

Had my bubbletea just now, Honeydew Milkshake (Y) !

Gosh i got History test tomorrow on Stalin. Haven't start revising, haven't had my dinner.

Sigh. I'm bored now. Boyfriend's angry just because i could'nt get to watch some show on Channel 5 :( My grandma's conquering the teevee, how to watch?:(

nevermind. Tomorrow's our 1 Year 2 Months. I'm glad we reached this far, unexpected though.

My dear Babyboy,
Happy 1 Year and 2 Months.
I'm glad we're still running till the end,
I hope we won't pause to catch a breath.
I hope we won't pause for a fight or so.
Enough of all those bad times we've been through.
It's been my worst.
But i've never complained of all those.
All i want now is you and me, together always.
you promised you'd never do all those things again.
I'll mark your words,
I'll witness that promise you've made.
I swear i know there's a guy in you that's been loving me ever since.
But waiting for that guy creates tearful memories.
I've had enough waiting for that guy.
I want him now,
I swear casting away the bad side of you,
You're the best i never had,baby.
I love you always.
You know i always do.
And there's not much i'm asking for.
I only wanna be loved by you.
Take good care of me.
Hope we'll make it through for the coming months/years ahead.
Amin♥.

nothing much

2011-01-23T17:07:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Now's Sunday.
i'm done with my homework but still, I'm so bored. I'm listening to some song from A7x. What the hell. Didn't know Synyster's so sweet :( He wrote a song for The Rev's tribute :(

So sweet hor I love the part when the song will go, I LOVE YOU.

Go listen, the name of the song is, So Far Away - Avenged Sevenfold.

i swear i kept listening to it,

Well, i miss my babyboy and girls so much :(

Now baby jinghui eating chicken from KFC. bo talk to me hor. HAHA! :P

Love you readers!

Minahs and mats FAMILYHOOD in school.

2011-01-17T20:02:00.002+08:00

OLA. Im back.

Morning was, aiya, i woke up early by 25minutes just to wake baby up. Hahha. It took a total of 25minutes too, to wake him up. LOL. He told me he wanna send me to school. The next thing i heard was, He's feeling unwell. In the end,he still has to go to school. Met up with Babygirls in school. Studies were fine. :) was very hungry but in the end had no appetite cause of my sudden sorethroat. Damn sad luh, aiya. :(

After school was a damn annoying one, seriously. Walking down with Girlfriend then suddenly a group of MINAHS & MATS from my school (JUNIOR), walking behind us. One of them was Ahmad's brother -.- Looked so short luh please. Then purposely walking so close to us.

One time when they accidentally pushed my girlfriend. She damn pek cek uh.

Then the next thing when we were waiting for the bus. The pile of shit walk passing by us and the Ahmad's brother onthephone saying out loud, "^%@^%^W%&*" all kinds of mat words luh that i can't really understand. HAHAHHAAHAHAHHA WTF.

LIKE SO "sebiji"(seed). HAHAHA! Like very timid like that, cannot say infront of our face meh? -.- then one small minah at the back saying, " i support you uh bro". I was like, the FAMILY HOOD in BHSS, HAHAHAHAA they cover eachother's backside one. Very gangster. I'm so afraid. Went to Toa payoh with kristal :) then Boyfriend appeared behind me :)

Then had my KOI caramel Milk Tea. ^v^ then we board the bus back home. I had a few Q&A with boyfriend and he went slowly crying after i expressed how i felt after all those things he did to me :( damn sad lor. Hugged him goodbye and went home.

Now i'm freezing, hungry with no appetite, KILL THAT SORE THROAT MAN!

Okay bye! (L)

I don't give a damn what you people wanna say about how ugly i am or whatsoever luh, what i know, I'm only wanna be look at cause of my academic. Being beautiful with no grades won't get you anywhere, losers! :)

Syiqah fat bitch comes in the story.

2011-01-16T20:41:00.004+08:00

Hello! :) Its a sunday night now baybeh! ^v^!

Morning was *yawns. Baby woke me up with a sad text message. Awwww my baby so cute.

I went pei-ing him by texting till around 8AM when he told me he wanna update his diary and told me not to sleep. Cute or what eh. I know right. I went half-dozed and woke up every 30minutes to check my phone and there wasn't any text messages at all.

Tell you what! He went back to sleeeeep! >:-(! Make me angry hor. Hahaha kidding.

I wasnt cause i already knew what was he doing. :)

Then the next thing had brunch prepared by Mum&Dad. :)

Then we planned to go to Haji Lane there to eat Murtabak since my grandma wanna pay ^v^!

Filled up my stomach and went to Nyai's house :)

After that went home and Babyboy called me after complaining to me about this BITCH texting him again. I thought i've warned her before not to text him again but she insisted. Make me boil only. Kan i spread at facebook already your number, how?

Then got the cheek to call me and talk to me using the innocent terms of "awak", "kite", PODAAAAAAAAAAAA~ I talked in a very annoying way that made her pissed though and she hung up the phone. The next thing, she texted me saying, "fuck". HAHA! I was like, "who the fuck taught you that? Finally you got the courage hor!". Damn funny can. Then she went scolding my boyfriend also. Tsk.

She sounded like a fat ass from a primary school, :-X

I advised her to date with a guy the same size as her, that'll do i guess.

Kecil-kecil dah gatal. Sumbat pepek kau ngan konek negro baru kau tau.

HAHHAHA!

Kay bye, (L)

Play the song right below. Its a damn nice song i swear!

School. the pasts.

2011-01-15T19:45:00.007+08:00

At hortpark.

At starbucks with girlfriends,

At yishun.

Going Babyros' birthday chalet

OLA! I'm finally back here. HAHA! Been dating with my books and awaiting for our anniversary when O levels approach! HAHAHAHA.

Kkay about today, There's nothing much though, slept early the day before since boyfriend's sleeping early too. xD Then yeah, I woke up at around 11:38AM? Was so tiredddddddddddddd. Boyfriend woke up so early! HAHA!

Nothing much about today. :(

Just that i've been missing my Babygirls so much :( And and not to forget, my boyfriend. HAHAHAA. :(

SHUTZ! i just remembered, there's Malay Homework. :( SUCKS ALOT KAN! I know! :(

Mannnnn, i haven't touched any of my homework yet. I don't wanna be too complacent already. I damn scared now. :( Gonna be busy soon with CCA then extra classes. Gotta bear with it man.

Now chatting with Syahirah Nadiah :)

Boyfriend's still bathing, (very slow you know! >:-( ! )

Well, tell you what.

You know that i've deleted ALL the pictures of me and Boyfriend on our previous break-up right? Well, I went back all my archives from the day we started everything. I re-collected all the pictures we had. Precious memories. Got some picture can make me cry man,seriously.

I updated about him for a lot of times during those times when he's super sweet! :(

he's still is now, hope it'll last though. hmmm.

Fuck that break up kkay, seriously, it made me lose two kilograms! :(

I damn sad lor. Hmpft!

But i can't assure what's coming next for us though. Cause who knows, Anything can take place.

I'd just stand strong for any outcomes then :-x

But i know that i really do love you so much,by ♥

So these are the pictures i've recollected. (looks down and up).

I guess that's it :)

I can shed tears now. Chey.

Bye! Love

Principal's too old for school.

2011-01-05T18:40:00.002+08:00

HI HELLO.

YOU KNOW WHAT GOT ME SO PISSED OF JUST NOW?

THIS IS IT. I WAS WALKING BACK TO CLASS WITH BBYGIRL THEN THE VP CALLED US TO GO TO THE OFFICE CAUSE OUR SKIRTS ARE TOOOO SHORT. OKAY S-H-O-R-T -.- THEN YEAH, THE PRINCIPAL GOT INTO ACT AND SO DO SOME SLUTTY TEACHERS :)

so here i go. they asked me to unpick my skirt eventhough i didn't alter. Principal was like so CONFIDENT that WE altered our skirts when seriously we did'nt! -.- Lol much sia.

She was like screaming and telling us to tell the "truth" when we were'nt even lying at all.

GOSH, there's something wrong with the Principal seriously. I show no respect to you bitch cause you've shown none to me as a student. The more you accuse me of doing things i don't do, I'll be definitely against you, seriously -.- So yeah, Kristal showed her how the NEW school skirt she bought and put it on. that bitch was like, "Eh,how come your body so weird uh? this cannot be". I was like, oh come on, its the facts mannnnnnnnnnnnn, right infront of your damn face! DAMN IT. then confiscate my skirt -.- LOL seriously. Fuck, thank god tomorrow throughout the day's workshop. If she come and see me, i swear i dont know what to say sia.

She's going nuts,

Oh well, thought of meeting Babyboy but he can't turn up :(

Aiyo, the moment i reached home, my stomach was in so much pain, i barely walk.

I slept for 2 hours just now and the moment i woke up, it's raining.

COOL.

OKAY BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

will update again i'll try, Been busy with school :)

♥♥♥

surprised.

2011-01-02T13:28:00.002+08:00

HELLO! :)

I swear i'm like super dead tiredddddd. I was awakened up by some noise coming from downstairs. Hate it much i swear, I woke up at 12NOON. Boyfriend's wide awake at 10AM , YA LUH cause he slept early mah yesterday without telling me somemore. Hate it you know baby!

HAHAHA. oh well, he texted me for two times but i was so dead asleep, even the phone vibrates won't make a difference. Ya, usually when i wake up, the first thing i do, Go on Facebook and check what's on through my phone. Aduhai. very heartbreaking eh, I don't know what to do sia.

But nevermind luh, hmpft :(

I WANT A BACK MASSAGE CAN!? oh ya, school's starting, damn it, i need to get my contacts! hehehehe prepare to see the ugly side of me when i come to school. HAHHAAH.

that's my new year's resolution! CONCENTRATE ON O'S.

Okay luh, i'm super angry with Papa(uncle). Sigh, i just hope someday Allah will open up your heart and make you think wiser and be much much more serious next time. Tsk.

To Mama(Aunty), I'm sure you're strong! Seeing those tears crawling down your eyes. You're the most strongest person i've ever came across to. I LOVE YOU MAMA.

okay i gotta go now!

You seee, boyf no reply my text.

SIAN!

BYE!

Sad.

2010-12-31T15:06:00.003+08:00

Hello. Yes, i was bored. tell me bout' it man. I took this picture cause it tells a million words. I'm sad. yes. I don't know just the feeling of sensitivity i guess. Should be though. Haha. BabyBoy called me last night and cheered me up, I cried hearing his voice and i kept saying just how much i miss him. hmmmm. He was shocked when i cried though but he succeed in making me smile last night. Thank you so much babyboy :) Hmmm. I woke up at 630AM this morning kkay. I swear my eyes were bulgy. Met up with the principal. She set a criteria for me -.-YOU KNOW WHAT!? I've to get these = ( L1B4 < TwentyFive points) if not they'll ask me to make choices for higher nitec in ITE. what's up sia principal. You should gimme encouragement not pulling me down. WTF SERIOUSLY.

Then yeah went back home likka zombie. Called Babyboy for so many times but he didnt answer any calls cause he's dead asleep. He asked me to wake him up yesterday you know! end up he woke up late :(:(:( then cannot meet up liao. Hmmmm nevermind, i find time tomorrow to see him perhaps. Okay then, now waiting for Dad to come home then go watch fireworks!

New Year's Eve yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Kkay bye!

Love you readers!

nobody.

2010-12-30T21:38:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Yes i'm tired, very. I woke up around 11AM this morning. Baby woke up quite late. oh well.

Then yeah. Thought of meeting him today but i sat at home waiting for his reply like a statue.

Mum texted asking me to go over her workplace. I went out around 4PM like that.

Went up to my sister's workplace and waited for her to end work then.

I don't want hope too much liao luh. hen lei eh. Serious :(

SIGH. then met up with Mummy then had KFC for dinner.

The Black Pepper chicken got me tearing slowly. hahahhaha. -_-

kkay, then yeah i'm home now.

Seriously, I feel likka NOBODY. WANT ME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?

N-O-B-O-D-Y.

kkay homies, i saw my new timetable for next year. AND OH YA.

I NEED TO MEET MY PRINCPAL AT MY SCHOOL TOMORROW IN THE MORNING!

FUCK IT CAN!?

IKR, IRRITATING.

Ugh bye!!

2010-12-29T15:06:00.002+08:00

HELLO!

Short update kkay.

I know ive been changing my blogskin for a number of times.

HHHHAHHAHAHAHAHsorry uh.

Kkay.

Maybe will be meeting up with Baby later :)

Gonna snap loads of shots baby :)

Hmmmm. You know what, me and boyfriend played this game. Its like, who bathe and finished bathing lateeeeeeeeeee, one of us must be punished.

Baby finished bathing so late :P

So i punished him to gimme loads of kisses later on!

HAHAHAHHAHHA.

cute rightttt?

Okay, im addicted to the You're So Beautiful - Escape The Fate.

Kill my brother for me?

FOR DOWNLOADING THIS MOTHERFUCKINGSHIT SONG.

BUT I LOIKE.

HAHAHHAHA BYE!

i wonder. what did i do?

2010-12-26T22:41:00.003+08:00

Hello :)

Don't mind with a second post yeah? Well. I had a talk with Sister just now. We went through almost the same thing, the same heartbreak, the same wound that can't be cured even by the most powerful medicine. Hmm.

Here it goes. I wonder, what did i do that made my boyfriend do all those things to me the past few months when he was super duperly sweet for the first few months we first got together?o.0

I swear i kept thinking about it over and over again. Thinking back, I've never make him upset that bad, I was never unfaithful, I've never contacted any guys behind him or even getting to know a new guy when i'm with him. Not saying that i'm an angel but seriously, why did it happened? What happened in between? Just what did i do that made me do these to me?

I seriously have no idea,completely. Guess, only God understands just how i feel from the start.

Talking about how much i love being with him is complicated. Cause the reason why i'm living now is because of the man he represented when i first fell for him. The man that never failed seeing me putting on a wide smile every single day, Never filled my life with doubts. And i knew that man was the only one that i needed in life. It turns out that things can't remain at its pace.

Things'll change. Either from bad to worse.

And now, I'm still together with him. Imagine a brokenheart being fixed by a glue? Just by sticking it all back together? Yeah, that's how my heart looks like inside of me. I don't know.

It's too fragile perhaps that i'm getting much more sensitive in handling things.

Hmmm. I wonder what outcomes are approaching me. I swear to God , i'm tired of crying, I'm tried of trying, I'm tired of giving. Every night before i sleep, The first thing that came across my mind was That Man i fell for, till now, I miss him so much.

I kept yearning for him but he doesn't know a thing just how much i need him :(

Babyboy i wonder just what are you doing right now. Maybe you're busy watching television or either you're asleep. I completely have no idea cause you have'nt replied my last text message and that was at 22:08, Look at the time now. Sigh. I completely have no idea at all.

Hmm. I won't be expecting for the worse, well, i'd just take it as if he's sleeping soundly now.

Oh well,Goodnight lovely readers.

thanks for coming by.

Goodnight! (:

SHORT UPDATE.

2010-12-26T15:22:00.002+08:00

HOLA! MERRY CHRISTMASSSS YOUUUU PEOPLEEEE. YTD NVR UPDATE.

SORRY HOR. WAS BUSY WITH FAMILY AND MY BEAUTY SLEEEP. HOHO.

NOW IM BACCCCK.

BUT YEAH JUST A SHORT UPDATE YO CAUSE IM BUYING MY BUBBLETEA LATER ON YOU KNOW. ^v^ HEHEHEHEEHHEEH.

THEN YEAH.

SCHOOL'S STARTING SOON. TOMORROW I NEED TO FUCK TO SCHOOL TO TALK TO PRINCIPAL THEN OFF TO MEET MY BABYBOY. HELL YEAH.

I GOT MY NEW SAMSUNG CAMERA FROM MUMMMY AND DAAADDDY CAUSE I PASSED MY N'S BABYYYYY. I DONT KNOW WHY I STARTING TO LOVE PINK NOW. FUCK THATS THE COLOUR OF MY CAM. HAHAHAA. KKAYYYY.

BYE ANYTHING ASK ME THROUGH FORMSPRING OR TAGBOARD.

ADIOSZZZ.

Good guys.

2010-12-23T12:50:00.002+08:00

♥Hello. I wanna come up with a topic for today's post.

Its about Good Guys.

As you can see, nowadays, hot guys are all over the place breaking every girls heart (not exactly all). Majority of them luh okay. Yeah. So what's up with these hot-looking guys? I really don't get it what do they actually want in a girl, I wonder what kind/type of girl would make them satisfied and be faithful enough -.- I seriously don't know. I don't get it seriously and it's a vice versa for the hot girls too. Tell me are you a victor after breaking someone's heart? Probably you're just a loser, a goner cause it's your loss! I'm seriously unhappy. Such good guys go with such bad girls and in the end, they changed to a mean guy = Jerk. What more can i say? I've been with these kind of guys before but they're like NATURALLY a jerk already, they were'nt heartbroken before in life so they broke my heart just like smashing a piece of glass that meant nothing at all to them. True? yeah.

I really wanna know physically, how does it feels like breaking someone's heart? I mean like, Really, how does it feels like? Satisfied? Happy? or what? sigh.

Good guys are really hard to find nowadays, 1%? I guess they're all taken. I hope those girls who em' would take good care of their heart and not break it like there's no tomorrow. Fuck those girls if they were to do so. Sigh, i've really not much to say.

Sometimes, me, myself, being sucha faithful lady meant nothing at all. I remained quiet when it comes to guys chatting with me and flirting like wtf, then somemore some of them are attached leh. Wahlao, i bo talk with them man. For fuck sia seriously.

If being faithful meant nothing at all, how about if i play along? I bet nobody would like it either.

Plus, ALWAYS whenever i have a thought of playing along, my heart says no.

I barely do things back to them as a reflection cause why? I don't have the heart to do so.

I've always have that soft spot of mine that make those guys think that's my weakness. Nope, it's not my weakness. It's just part of me. I fear karma.

Yes so that's it for today. i'll come up with another topic perhaps tomorrow? oh soon?

hehehe. I'm super bored now though,

well, feel free to ask me questions at formspring :)

Takecare, Love you readers! ♥

(sorry i've got no pictures to upload today, i'll take pictures soon) ^v^

empty

2010-12-22T22:01:00.001+08:00

Hello. ^v^

I've been crying badly last night. Things happen, Sigh. I feel so damn useless i swear. I can't do a thing! PLUS i hate witnessing everything! :(

Sigh. hope things are going to be okay, :(

Hmmmm sigh.

I feel so empty now, really empty.

wtf k bye.

Kristal's 16th birthday, Today.

2010-12-19T19:17:00.004+08:00

With my girls!

Birthday girl crying while browsing through the boook

Preparing before birthday girl arrives!

So that's all the pictures for yesterday.

Gossiped with Kristal's mum was cooool!

Birthday girl arrived and went crying yesterday cause we picked her up late.

She cried cause her babies can't wish her.

But everything turned out welllllll!

I love it thjough :)

Overall it was fun, thought Honey would be fetching me , but no :(

Sigh damn sadddddddddddd lor.

Momentum damn down de. :(

Then went home, i reach home around 9PM going 10PM, i damn tired.

I sleep till noonnnnn.

I woke up expecting for messages but there was none. I only received a call from Honey around 12midnight. :(

Sigh. Walked around at NEX - Serangoon. A new shopping mall :)

Yeah. nothing much, i put on my new heels, oh maybe a Stiletto. The tip of the shoe is very small plus my toes were squeezed, i had a hard time walking. The pain is like IDK WHAT TO SAY, i feel like crying. Thanks to Mum&Dad, they bought me new flats, very cute ^v^.

Kkay.

I damn no mood now lor.

Honey's leaving when i thought i could celebrate my birthday with him tomorrow :( But no.

UGH DAMN SADDDDDDDDDDDDD.

tmr need hand in application form in sch, damn annoying uh.

cannot email mah!?

Cb.

i go now uh. bye.

Passed my N's

2010-12-17T23:55:00.003+08:00

hello I PASSS MYYYYYY GCE' N LEVELS OKAYYYYYY! ^v^! I'm like flyingggggg the moment i got hold of the certificate manz. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZ!

But yeah, eventhough i'm happy, not completely perhaps. :(:(:(:(:(

My babygirl kept crying since just now and i'm like helpless not knowing what to do!

Now even when i'm home, all i've been worrying about was my babyKristal's birthday and Jinxian :( sighhhhhhhh. My head can burst i tell you.

Damn sad i can't do anything sia.

WAHLAO. then yeah, Dad asked me to just go ahead for sec 5, so yeah. CHIONGGGGGGG UHHHHHH!

kkay. Ex-boyf's not answering my calls, not replying my text, confirm sleep liao lor :(

AIYOOOO SO GOOOOOOOD.

KNOW HOW TO SLEEP ONLY, CANNOT WAIT FOR ME MEH!?

GRRRRR.

kkay i going sleep bah! ^v^!

Goodnighttttttttt!

New blogskin

2010-12-16T19:01:00.001+08:00

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM DONE !

How's my bloggggy?

Gimme comment on my new tagboard! teeheeeee ^v^!

I'm so happpppy can cannnn!

I want go bathe now hoooor.

kkay bye, tomorrow i update again.

Anything can ask me through formspring or tagboardzxscz! ^v^!

Im pleading Innocent

2010-12-16T11:37:00.002+08:00

♥HELLO! (look up) My eyebags are like getting heavier. I dont know how many kilogram already sia. Hahahaha!!! Oh well, yesterday i went out and meet ex-boyfriend, pei him go marsiling to buy some stuffs and i was so silly that i was ABOUT TO drink the Mango Milkshake with a spoon. Very cool eh ^v^! I woke up at 10AM today, Baby brother's been really annoying, kept making such noises till i can't sleep no more >:-(!

Maybe i'd be meeting ex-boyfriend later on for awhile. I don't know bah. :-/ Now we're like having a little tiff over a small problem -.- Aiyo, head pain u know! :(

Hmmmmmm. well now i'm listening to song Innocent by Sean Kingston or either Bruno Mars. I swear both versions are very cool to listen to! ^v^!

Go search it on Youtube! I'm addicted to the song already :-/

Okay, My formspring's runnin' dead again, Ask me questions kkay!? :)

Tomorrow's my Judgement Day, well not only for me.

For the other graduating students too! :(

Well, Good luck to you people okay! ^v^!

I also have no confidence, actually. :-/

kkay bye bye! ♥

Can u read the time and date?

2010-12-14T22:02:00.002+08:00

OH HELL I WAS MAD.

But i've calmed down. Oh well. I got enraged all over Facebook. What the fuck eh, hahaha.

Who's not angry when people kept wanting to argue and argue and argue for things that has already done but mistaken? Not tired meh? I damn tired lor. Everyday fight, like married like that, just that i have no children yet, kkay wtf. HAHA.

uh. Then we were chatting, we sounded fine. Suddenly he sounded off mood like that. I was worried, Aku ader luh tanyer-tanyer kenape ngan dier, jawab cume "nothing". Okay that one i okay uh, then i thought he'd call me up and share me with what he's unhappy about but he didnt. Instead he rejected most of my calls and i got no idea why -.- Skali the next thing i knew, checked his facebook profile, He said i was pretending and he won't believe my words no more.

I was like, What's up, again?!

What's up with posting it on facebook without even asking me or even tell me what i did wrong sia. -.- Damn lame lor. Then he suddenly texted saying he won't bother me no more and he said, "you're free now!". I was like, which guy came to him and asked whther he can have a chance ?-.- Super annoying can. I was damn mad, I swear i've never spouted vulgarities on him eh, for all these months i've been with him, i've never done that but he made me too.

suddenly it reminded me of my blog post yesterday. Then i realised he mistaken the wrong thing -.- This is why i kept asking you to tell me why, you refused to. All you do is making me dumber than i thought i can be . -.-

Then now, tau pun nak sedih bile i maki, who not angry seh u tell me uh?!

Wahlao, then somemore you're like making a bad impression of me in this relationship. i was the one who "asked for a breakup". I'm the bad one luh, han orh.

Aiya.

kkay bye, i damn pissed kkay.

tmr need go school somemore.

kkay byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Kiss kiss!

pagi pagi takda mood.

2010-12-13T10:30:00.003+08:00

Eh hi.

In the morning, my heart went pounding so hard i swear, like it's coming out like that. LOL.

kkay lame sia. Then ya ex-boyfriend commented on my post. Meeting up? hahaha i don't think so. With your behaviour like that? (malas aku). Then yeah, kkay this shit got me laughing and somehow pissed off eh. Just nice this morning, i got this sentence in mind wanting to type it out on Facebook. I did, I said, "It bugs me when a Minah claims that she's not a Minah. ohmygodz, how un-cool can these people get? No offence. ^v^!".

so yeah. BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA he assumed that i was referring to his beloved friend. Sibei.

Like i got time sia dot dot dot eh. then. han orh, i said sorry for nothing lor. -.-

Sibei annoying can. Make me wanna smoke sia. HAHAHAHA.

Maybe meeting up with Kristal or something.

Mum told me, my bank has got 64.60$ inside.

LOL I WAS LIKE, CRAP!?

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAY.

I go now.

I WANT SIBEI SMOKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE .

once again.

2010-12-12T12:46:00.002+08:00

Went scape with Babygirls. :)

There's more pictures in Facebook :) You can go see it if u want too.

Oh well. Very cocked up life i had now. Fought with ex-boyfriend really bad last two days over a few misunderstandings. :( Sigh fucking sad hor my life. ohmygod.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs.

Yesterday was fun with bbygirls and yeah Baby Jinghui's working so she cant tag along. You get well soon okay love :(

oh well.

I'm not really in the mood now

Maybe going out with ex-boyfriend tomorrow and pei-ing my babygirl go do her stuffs :)

bye :)

will u come back?

2010-12-10T17:00:00.003+08:00

HELLO. Im back. Imma pour everything out here now. Been long since i've blogged. Hmm.

So what's up? :) Well, today's not my day you see. i've been really down since morning, i don't know why :(:(:(:( Damn sad i swear. Sighs~ So yeah, somehow me and my ex - Qifa, we've been in good terms somehow, yes. We chatted and webcammed and texted and blah blah blah but still it's complicated. This is why. I've been crying since morning, I have that urge to read his first ever letter he gave to me :(:(:( Sobsob. Then i read it, when it comes to the "Love you Baby", tears came rolling like waterfall. I could'nt help it luh. Then i grabbed his shirt that he gave me. If you guys have been reading my blog since the day we first got together, the shirt he wore on that day was the one he gave to me when i have to go to Batam for school trip :'( Yeah that shirt. That shirt reminds me when our love's still young, that's when i received True LOVE, CARE,RESPECT from a guy. he's the first guy i swear(i mean the old him). Sighs. I kept crying and hugging that innocent shirt. I kept praying to God wanting the old him. I really really really miss that guy but i don't know when's he coming back to me and take good care of me.

He used to be the best i've never had in life :(:(:(:(:(:( Sigh. But he left me long ago after he changed into someone i don't really recognise. :(:(:( Sigh i need him physically now.

Where's he? He's the reason why i'm very confused now whether i should be back in love or should i just remain this way.

sigh my mind's too occupied, it's filled up with too much of these nonsense.

I can't stop crying :'(

I want the old him back, God.

Goodbye :'(

Selling tickets.

2010-12-05T15:22:00.002+08:00

♥

HELLO . :)

Been a few days since i've updated. hehehe. lazy uh.

Teeheeee. yesterday was fine, well i'm somehow behaving as if i don't care. I dont know, just the attitude i guess. :-/ hmm, Canny texted me yesterday about events coming up on the 23rd on the eve of Christmas at Zirca :) Don't mind approaching me for tickets yeah readers if you're interested. It's around 22-25dollars the tickets :) 16 and Above yeah. Anything ask me through formspring :) So yeah. Yesterday, Love was like kinda upset with my behaviour. He told me i wasnt like before. Just the way i texted him and the way i treat him now.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM,

Guess the breakup has got a big impact on me i should say. :-/

Not that i have another guy(scared to move on also) but yeah, I'll always love you :)

Just that my head's really can't stop spinning, like a washing machine, you know?

Tak kesian kan kite ke? :( Hmpft.

Okay luh.

hehehehee byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i miss my girls! :(

I've just started selling tickets, do help me up yeah guys?:(

Love you readers!

MUAH!♥

SMD eh.

2010-12-03T14:11:00.003+08:00

HELLO.
ZIBAI EH, i typing all the way then i accidentally deleted everything! GRRRRR! I very angry nowwwwwwww (turns into hulk). HMPFT! Okay, it's been three days we've gone on our seperate ways. :( It's been threeeeeeeeeeee fucking days we're still contacting BUT things are not clear for me just yet -.- Okay seriously, i felt like as if i've lost my mind you know. I didn't sleep last night. I swear i hardly breathe, that's a normal thing for me. BUT, this time i kept having that urge to cry. Hmmm. I don't know why. Like, seriously :( I wanted to blog, but Brother just can't be bothered you see. Sigh. I woke up in the morning, was hoping i received a short text from him. yes. He texted, asking, "Do u hate me?".
I was like, For how many times are you gonna ask me? my answer's gonna remain the same. NO. It never crossed my mind to hate you even for awhile, I was just disappointed in you.
Oh well. I went out and ease my mind for about an hour, walking to places nearby my house. reminds me about all the things i've once shared with him. Sigh. Stupid eh. if got such accidents in life, i want those that could knock my skull and POOF, "i don't remember my name", "huh? who are you?".
WOAHHHH SYIOK I TELL YOUUUUU. HAHAHAHAHAH!
okay random sia. WHERE IS MY PAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!??1?
You want me to call the HR of Long John Silver is it!?
SMD eh.
Okay bye! ♥♥♥

loser me

2010-12-01T15:27:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry for taking things to rushy. I was really cocked up, really mixed up, really messed up.

I'm like entangled in between two statements. True and False. i don't know. I maligned before and i was scared to choose which path to listen to. I have no idea what must i do, who should i listen to, who should i trust, I completely have no idea. Migraine can take place any moment. I cannot seize this moment to see what's best for myself. I'm still caught up. I'm just waiting for something to show up and show me what's going on! I'm so confused. Man, what's up with the world? :'( sigh. For a moment i was so strong, for a second thought i'm never a winner to succeed this challenge. I'm just a loser.

Goodbye.

breakup.

2010-11-30T23:10:00.002+08:00

Hello.

So this is the end of you and me. We had a good run and i'm setting you free to do as you want to do as you please WITHOUT me. Maybe God's just giving me these challenges to go over. I'm strong enough to go over, i know i am :') hehehe, I'm not even crying now. Maybe i'm just used to it, being played about, being lied to, having break-ups for i don't know how many times already. Tsk, people just can't change. A player will always be player,right? Well, what can i say.

I got to know, you're now getting to know with a girl from Hougang. Wow, fast! Somemore yesterday when i thought your cousin's fetching you up at school? Yeah so much of your mum going off to Johor. Tsk, how dumb was i to actually BELIEVED you. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, i'm so dumbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb. YAY -.- And you said you were asleep and sent me a goodnight message that's somehow typed AS IF you were "asleep" when you're hanging out with your friend. Bravo. A++++++ ! I BELIEVED EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU SAID and this what i get? LIKE, FOR REALLLLLL? when i don't trust you, You said, "trust is important in our relationship, without trust, we might as well go on our seperate ways". ZAHAHAHAHHAA.

So much of trusting you huhhhhhh BABY. sigh.

TIRED luh okay, T-i-r-e-d.

oh well, i got over it. Fast wasn't i? (like real). HAHAHHAA. i confirm will start my crying sessions tomorrow like crazy. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. okay nonsense eh. xD

I'd be sending all the stuffs he gave me to his mum tomorrow. :) All those teddy bears, aiya.

Okay luh, i wanna chat with my babygirllllll.

BUAIZ!

Don't leave my formspring dead leh :((((((((((((((

hehehehe goodnighttttt lovely people!!!!!!♥

Morning seems beautiful

2010-11-29T13:24:00.003+08:00

HELLO! :)
I'm back, sorry for not updating. Been busy with Family. Yeah! :)
hmmm, saturday, Had Ayam penyet and i swear i'm soooooooooooooooo bloated that i could vomit if i smell fooood after that! :-/ But but but, Weekends' when i rarely text with Baby.
Reasons were, my prepaid's low. And baby's sick :( awww.
I bought a necklace for myself yesterday, It says, LOVE. Me likey-likey! Cause it's in gold and it's only $9 at Diva ! :) KOI was the best bubble tea i've ever had manzscxs i swear!
The milk tea can make you go crazzzzzzzzzzzzzy. Then after that, you don't have to eat liao.
HAHAHHAHA. okay.
In the morning, i received three text messages, From Mum♥, Baby♥, Babyros♥! Hhehee, Mum was about all the groceries i have to buy, Baby was a Goodmorning wish! and i felt so special when he said, "seriously, i miss baby so much.." . I was like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay, Babyros texted me saying she's back last night :) Great news!
Hmmm, After i had my bath, i quickly went down to the public phone to call these people, Baby and BabyRos. :) Sweeeeet right i know :P Then baby's voice sounded so cute !
Talked for awhile with Babyros then i had to go to the market and buy some groceries.
Sadddddddddddddd eh, i go alone sia. Brother can't be bothered _|_ .
Still haven't had my breakfast :( Me so hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
OKAY BYE BYE!

Follow me on tumblr :)
http://yourfated-withme.tumblr.com/

I miss you.

2010-11-26T14:50:00.002+08:00

Hello ♥ I'm not really in the mood now.

Somehow looking at those pictures are just making me peep through those memories. It'll then make me cry like a baby. God, i can't help it i swear. I thought anyone, just anyone could cheer me up but nah, Baby brother's just making me cry even more, Boyfriend's asleep and girlfriends are all busy :( I have no one. I've lost so many important people i might need in my life. Tell me what's left? :( There's nothing i could do except reminiscing for the good memories i could still treasure. I remembered those times when i needed someone, she was there. She sat there with me, she cried with me, she held tight on me. Now, i've lost her.

uh damn it i'm really in need of a big hug right now.

people, appreciate those loved ones you have now, before something happens, you might lose em' all. Hold on to them tightly.

Love you readers :(♥

our 1st anniversary.

2010-11-26T12:14:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was the best.

We laughed the fucking hell out of our asses but still we're like total bestfriends.

So close that we talked about dirty things and everything openly.

Yeah he love the cupcakes i've baked for him. Was in a rush though.

So now, one of the tasks from my list is done :)

Am satisfied, still got lots to do with Boyfriend. I wonder how long we'd last.

Hm. This morning was okay. Then came again, the same moody situation.

I've got no say.

What i know, i enjoyed yesterday.

Love you readers!

hee

2010-11-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

CONFIRMED PROMISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'll update tomorrow.

t

2010-11-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

TOMORROW I UPDATE OKAY! :) Hehhehee tireddddddddddddd.

been waiting for tmr

2010-11-24T11:54:00.002+08:00

HELLO! :)
I thank that person who questioned me yesterday. It pissed me off actually. -.-" it's a dumb question i swear. Who was it i won't give it a guess but yeah, I DON'T HAVE A DICK. If i have one, you may suck em'.
HAH. Okay so last night, i was kinda upset when baby rarely text me so i kept on putting on sad faces in every text message. Then Baby called me. I WAS LIKE HOORAAYYYYY-INGGGG.
Then got in my room and talked to him for awhile, i was really so happpppppppppppppy.
Okay. Then i texted him for a goodnight. I checked my formspring then i saw the question. I was boiling by then, I texted boyfriend hoping he could calm me down. He did. He phoned me and talked to me. And not forgetting those, "i love you" before he hung up the phone. I remained silent then followed with a Goodnight. I swear i miss him so much.
Hoping to see him today, It's been two days since i've last been with him :(
12 more hours and it's our 1st ever Anniversary. I hope tomorrow's gonna be worthwhile.
I've planned to head for ECP for the day. Hmm. i don't know what to get for him. Guess, i'm gonna make a huge card for him. Oh well.
Bye for now. Gonna have my brunch and sleep like a pig. Like seriously there's nothing else for me to do -.- sian much.
Love you readers!
xoxo.

what's left for me to say?

2010-11-23T18:52:00.003+08:00

Hey. I appreciate for that somebody who adviced me on Formspring. I totally appreciate.

Well, after that morning, i woke up and received a text with a simple Sorry with a sad smile. I wasn't exactly contented seeing that text message but i felt somehow normal just that i do still believe i'm living in a lie. :( I remembered that night when i rest upon your t-shirt that you wore on our first day. I put my palm onto it and went into a deep sleep. I swear i was sleeping soundly as i traveled back to the old times when i was with him. The way his hand runs smoothly through my fingers felt so real. I swear at that moment i'd prefer living in fantasy than living in reality with full of changes i won't expect to be in. After that night, i woke up with tears cause i do, i do miss him (the old him). The one who always put me first above anyone else. The one that i believe could make me smile for a longer period than now.

Time passed without me knowing. what else can i say?

In the beginning, i've always have this sentence playing on my mind.

It says, "He's never gonna break my heart, no, no."

So tell me now, is it working? Nah i don't think so. I don't know for whatever reasons that i've done wrong to you that made you make me suffer this way. I completely have no say.

For now, this morning i was so sure you woke up earlier but you would'nt make an effort to call/text me. Its okay. I acted stupid so i kept calling your phone to so called, "wake" you up .

Things were okay, yes it is. But this little heart inside of mine remained wounded. I had enough doing all the talking and committing so much in this love story. I would wanna take a break.

Now, In two days is our First Anniversary. Are you gonna come late again? Or are you gonna make it early and special for us? We'll see,honey.

Sigh.

i love you readers.

xoxo.

Disappointed

2010-11-21T23:09:00.002+08:00

hey.

I can't sleep, headaches, cramps just won't leave me alone. :(

Baby called, yes i was waiting all the while by the phone. I was trying to catch some breath and i swear i can't breathe that smoothly :( Hm.

How disappointed when i saw those photos you were tagged in, when i thought you were really heading to your aunt's place to eat cause you're too hungry. I was worried so i hurried you to go quickly. I ate too much of your lies. I think positive straight ahead, thinking you would be going there and get your stomach filled up with protein but i was wrong. Tell me was i dumb? Tell me was i too humble? I don't know. I'm tired, honestly :'(

You promised me you'll never smoke again after what happened to you last two days. I thought you really controlled hard not to smoke and you did. Tears went pouring down my cheeks and i couldn't say a word. I'm speechless; Completely out of words. What's left for me to say when even saying won't change a thing? I'm disappointed in myself most of all. I couldn't change you. Sometimes i just think i'm not the one for you cause you would'nt listen to me and i can't change you for the better. I'm utterly disappointed with myself. Oh Allah, I've tried all i could, I couldn't do a thing. I wanted to relinquish most of the time but i couldn't get enough with thinking or even deciding. I'm too feeble for a new start of the day; Tomorrow.

Sigh.

What more's coming my way?

Goodnight :'(

z dot z.

2010-11-21T16:41:00.001+08:00

hey.

I do this,WRONG. i do that, WRONG. I dont wanna do anything already uh.

I go sleep now.

BYE.

ME

2010-11-20T01:00:00.001+08:00

♥♥♥♥♥♥My personality:

I’m loud.
I’m obnoxious.
I’m sarcastic.
I’m cocky.
I cry easily.
I have a bad temper.
I don’t like people.
I’m easy to get along with.
I have more enemies than friends.
I’ve smoked.
I’ve smoked weed.
I drink coffee.
I clean my room daily.
My appearance:

I wear makeup sometimes.
I wear a piece of jewellery at all times.
I wear contacts.
I wear glasses.
I have braces.
I change my hair color often.
I straighten my hair often.
I have a piercing.
I have small feet.

Relationships:

I’m in a relationship now.
I’m single.
Im crushin’
I’ve missed an ex before.
An ex has physically abused me at least once.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve been in love more than two times.
I believe in love at first sight.
I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships:

I have best friends.
I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
I’ve beaten up a friend.
I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life.
One of the person you can trust starts with the letter J and he/she is older then you.
One of the person you can trust starts with the letter F.
Have fun juniors.
Have fun seniors.

Experiences:

I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been on a train.
Someone close to me has died.
I’ve taken a taxi.
I’ve taken a city bus.
I’ve taken a school bus.
I’ve gone bungee jumping.
I’ve made a speech.
I’ve been in some sort of club.
I’ve won an award.
I’ve spent 24 hours on a computer straight.
I’ve been in a physical fight.

Music:

I listen to R&B.
I listen to country.
I listen to pop.
I listen to techno.
I listen to rock.
I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until i hate it.
I hate the radio.
I download music.
I buy CD’s.
Acoustic

Television:

I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
I watch soap operas daily.
I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
I’ve seen and liked the O.C.
I’ve seen and liked One Tree Hill.
I’ve seen and like Americas Next Top Model.
I’ve seen and like Popular.
I’ve seen and like 24.
I’ve seen and liked CSI.
I’ve seen and like Everwood.

Family Life:

I get along with both of my parents.
My biological parents are still together.
I have at least one brother.
I have at least one sister.
I have a twin sister.
I have at least one step brother/sister.
I have at least one half brother/sister.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I’ve ran away from my home.

Hair:

I’ve been brown. 
I’ve had streaks.
I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
I’ve been blonde.
I’ve had black.
I’ve been red.
I’ve been light brown.
I’ve been medium brown.
I’ve been blue/green.
I’ve gotten my hair thinned.
I use conditioner.
I’ve used silk therapy.
I’ve used hot oil treatments.
I’ve curled my hair.
I’ve straightened my hair.
I’ve ironed my hair.
I’ve braided my hair.

School:

I’ve yelled at a teacher.
I’ve been suspended.
I’ve had an in-school suspension.
I’ve been sent to the principals office.
I’ve walked out of class.
I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
I’ve failed Art.
I’ve failed P.E.
I’ve failed math.
I’ve failed science.
I’ve failed another class.
A teacher has called my parents.
i scored an A for art.
i love physics
i love chemistry
i love biology.

Nothing much

2010-11-20T00:39:00.002+08:00

EH HI.
morning was *YAWNNNNNNNNNNNS*. I'm like so addicted to my bed that i can't make a stand. Hahhahahah. Damn sleepy i swear even when Baby texted me, i read it 1 hour later. :P
Tiredddddddddddddddd :((((((
Then woke up at 10AM, EARLY OKAY xD
Did nothing much, had breakfast and yeah. Waited for baby to reach home and then meet up with me. It's been hours since i waited. It bugs me. So i called him, he sounded like he just got up from beddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRR >:-( !
Then yeah, told him to go back to sleep bah.
We had a small fight cause we aren't meeting up. Cute or what ehhh/?
Got out from house at 6PM then met up with Baby.
Did nothing much, but it was fun seeing him looking so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
*jaws dropppppp*.
HAHHAHHA okay stupid sia.
Okay i admit, Im bored.
OKAY BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
next stop ----> TUMBLR.
BYE!♥♥♥♥♥LOVE YOUUUUUUUU READERZSXZXS!

Left 4 Dead

2010-11-18T23:24:00.002+08:00

HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO.

Woke baby up at 720AM then went back to sleep likka pig.
Then yeah met up with baby and went to Bishan after waiting for him for awhile at Toa Payoh. Heh. He came sitting beside and gave me a quick kiss (I LOIKE). Sweeeeet eh. xD
I was flattered much. oh well. teeeheeee. then went to repair his phone and yeah went to Land games and played Left 4 Dead :) It was worthwhile playing with Baby,Cousin,Brother. hahahhaa.. i'm like the only girl :-/
Hhahahhaha. then yeah i laughed hard when baby got shocked when i hugged him by the side.
THEN WENT HOME> DONE.
Okay buaizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz♥♥♥♥♥.