by Nur Faiqah Shahri
hello. Yes i'm somehow in good terms with him already eventhough yesterday i struggled very hard last night but i was reluctant to forgive when i did accept his apology cause i was so weak, weak enough to even stand up for my soul. I'm helpless last night :( So yeah,this morning, I felt like crying but there's no point yeah?:( I rushed to school,texted with Kuan Kian! Ooppps,Sorry didnt wait up for you cause i entered school just on time and you're late!!!!!!!!!! :DHAHAHA!
so yeah,I felt really insecure being in school without me having to wake him up for school cause somehow my inner voice just say, "dont be so kind". I dont know i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwww. UGHHH~
Then yeah. school was fine somehow.
around 1136,he texted a long text. I read it, I dont know how to describe how i felt that very moment, its just u-p-s-e-t-t-i-n-g. All i did for the last period was, writing down a poem that fits my situation now. And i kinda like it cause it's just, IT FITS MY SITUATION. whatever:(
Then after school, i met him at Yishun. I dont feel like doing the talking neither do i look right into his eyes cause its simply deprecating enough. We sat somewhere, I dont wanna look at him, my heart's still burning,still aching, still breaking :(
he gave me a pink carebear, i gave in and i talked/laughed like how i used to(but not extremely). I just gave in , im so weak. Im so kind, im so naive, im so dumb, tell me again.
If he were to do the same thing to me, what can i do? Dont ask me :( Probably i'll just let him be with WHOEVER he wants to be with as long as it doesnt hurt me nor do it destroy my whole lovestory. I'm like, 'Whatever' Now.
do what you think its best for yourself cause maybe she SUITS you, Maybe She TOO PRETTY/PERFECT to you like how you always wanted a girlfriend to be. whatever luh, i couldnt care less already. Its just like a repetition my pasts, like a part of it, sighhhhhhhhhhhh. how i wish i was just dreaming, :(
man,
and now, IM MORE AND MUCH MORE UPSET, cause why!?
He's doing things that i DESPISE~
i dont wanna say it down here, ITS JUST UGHHHHHHHHHHH~
getting on my nerves, he doesnt care about how i cared about him, on how concerned am i about him,
I dont think he'd even realise it luhh.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i dont know,
Still having doubts on this love.
What a love 'game'.
bye :(
Now, i dont believe in Forever.
Now, i dont believe in Forever.
Labels: i still can't believe it., i still have doubts
