Saying goodbye was the worst last words i gotta say to you.
Lame reasons on breaking up.
i know that things'll turn up this way, i knew these three months we had meant nothing at all to you, nothing at all.
Whats the point chasing after me and all you do was to lie?
Somehow lie to your own heart,
Good dramas youve put on, great applause.
Ure the cause for all those tears, i thought ure such a nice guy when i first met you, i thought you'd make me smile every single day and i thought i could move on happily with you.
it turns out that my thoughts about you were so wrong.
I didnt expect for things to turn up this way for us.
Ive realized, Those words youve gotta say were all untrue!
with those stories you gotta create and those promises youve made; Last forever aye?
Bullshit i'll tell you.
and those crocodile tears!
Oh please, theres no audition for drama here aite!
such fake tears.
Ohmygod, i didnt know you;re so so GAY.
ive never seen a guy cried infront me, never before.
haha, fake ones, its not worth it boy,
Besides, to be frank, I dont love you THAT much. somehow, U wasnt even sweet.
-The one who doesnt send you home
-The one that asked you to call him rather than he calling you up.
-talks about other girls to you.
-the one who just wants pleasure.
-the one that tend to lie always.
-the one that doesnt respect you as a girl
- a geek.

now, thats MY ex-boyfriend.
the dumb one, do you think its fair for me?
i, being so stupid to have accepted him and fallen for a definite wrong guy.
now, after all those things you did, you would just walk away just like that?
without, Goodbye or either saying sorry!
all you know is to blame me for everything yet it was all ur fault.
tell me was it fair?
somehow, ive been giving in to him these days we kept arguing, appreciate me please!
and i guess, i do knew the reason why u ex left you for another guy, Coz u dont spend a fucking little time with her at all! so dont blame them for being unfaithful coz you;re the one asking for it!
but in my state, did i go for other guys?
no, i didnt. i went on waiting for your sms-es almost like fucking hours then you'll sms me.
man, i was being wayyy to faithful to you, yet you didnt even appreciate that.
what kind of a man are you?
all these times we meet, did we even spent time together?
No, i wasted my three months being with such human-being that doesnt even appreciate your love.
should i stay or go? definitely go right?
somehow, we brokeup last night.
i cried a million tears. coz i regretted to have fallen for the wrong guy.
theres nothing more i could do left.
and we brokeup just because of a LAME reason.
My sister boyf, asked for his number coz he wanted to help out to solve the problems i had with this ashrafe. Then yeah, i did gave him.
Then soon, that ashrafe started to blame me kind of stuffs.
then soon, he said its over between us,
so i just say, then we'll just become friends then.
Then he replied saying his phone is not with him, its with his mum.
another lie , i knew the way you typed. so dont anyhow blame your mum for no reasons.
freaking dumb.
so hereby, i wanna people out there, lookout for these kind of guys, dont ever fall for them please!
i knew how bad it was, ive been through it, its damn bad.
dont ever prolong with the relationship when he doesnt even appreciate your love.
heres some i gotta say to ASHRAFE.
So its the end of us just coz of an unreasonable reason. I really thought you were such a nice guy but somehow my thoughts of you went so wrong. those fake crocodile tears you gotta release?
great acts.
Ive had enough of you since youve changed.
and then on, i never loved you that much like the way i used to, last time.
now, its over between us, i would just hope you could find someone better that you could be happy with, and somehow, i hope you would appreciate her love and take good care of her heart, just hope there wont be a next victim yeah?
be true to your heart, girl's arent any toy you could play with.
somehow, they do have feelings.
what goes around comes around. may you be happy with your life.
dont come around and regret after what youve did.
i know God would be fair enough.
Goodbye.
I agree, hes the worst person ive ever met.
he lied that last time, girls used to dump him and went for other guys, but now i guess, its the other way round, you're the one who dumped them for other girls after having some pleasures.
You just sucks so much.
just remember that phrase man, what goes around comes around.
we'll see.
regretting wasnt the point, having to fallen for the wrong guy was the start of all those pain in the heart.
Til here.
w/double love.

Im sorry, Been M.I.A these few days, my blog has been so DEADDD.


so yeah, heres what im gonna start with.
Lets share about today.
Great, i wasnt late, haha! thats a good thing, thanks to Mr.Lim's Alarm clock that he gave me.
hahha! :D cute siaa my teacherrr.
okayokay, lets start,
I seriously Hate KIANSIANG.
that dumb one, cant stop agitating me man.
so yeah, in class.
I shared alot of things with my lovely bestfriend, shahidah.
and yes, we're going the same situation right here.
its been so bad.
I still have that guilt in me eventhough it has been a year passed.
i just dont know! Im not HAPPY with my life, Im serious.
if only i could say things out, but i dont wished to do so, here.
Maybe to some, who knew what happened between me and _____.
i still treasure those memories i had with him.
still have those clear in my mind.
the disappointment i gave him.
The rushing decisions that led us to such separation.
till now, everything seemed so quiet between me and him.
we didnt talked after everything happened.
I pointed fingers on him and just keep thinking immaturely!
i admit, it was my mistake.
yes, it was all my fault.
so what more i could do now?
i just cant deny that somehow, i do miss him.

Only God knows how bad its been for me.
But i know, Its been the worse for him.
Ive been such a bitch.
yes, i knew i was one, i regretted it so much.
deciding things without any second thoughts to it.
man, i was being so plain dumb.
If hes reading this now,
I wished to tell you this, i wanted this ignorance to end, please.
atleast we can be friends.
somehow i knew those words ive said really made you mad at me.
But i cant take those words back, theres no turning back.
i really needed you so much, but im just too helpless/
enough of those tears. enough of those stupid thoughts.
I deserved it.
whats goes around comes around.

and i bet its true after all. after what ive been through, im in dilemma now.
Left with things undone yet bottled up inside my heart,
and its really killing me man!
ohgod, i dont wanna rush things once more and end up, going seperate and that urge of missing that someone.
Bullshit man.
I dont want history to repeat by itself.
i dont wish to!
and yes, only shahidah understands why im this way and why i still have that guilt right in me.
im waaaaaaaaaay damn to stupid luh.
how i wished this ignorance could end between us please? to who ever it may be.

Till here,
w/double loves.

yeah i know this blog has been so dead lately..
I'll edit this post tmr or maybe thurs? haha!

Oh yes yes yes, Its been great visiting the ITE simei for two days(:
Let me start with Thursday;yesterday.
First things the morning, meet shahidah then we went up, then yeah, That dumb asshole teacher is following, whatthehell?
For the whole fucking day, she'll nag over my hairr?!
whatthehell siaaa!
Walaoooo!
Then my class have to settle down somewhere for some briefing.
so yeah, then walao, That dumb ass teacher is really damn irritating sia, reallyreally damn irritating!
Kept pulling my fringe, fucker luh, then went to toilet with shahidah and waste our time there.
then we board the bus.
Shahidah tied scorpion for me :D
heheh! :D i thought it was a long journey from school to ITE simei, But no, it wasnt that long.
so then we reached the ITE.
fucking huge uh!
Then we sat down at the amphitheatre, Then yeah, we waited for the instructor..
First dy at the ITE was damn boring!
But i did saw this Emo guy, ohmygod, the hair so hoooooooot!
hahah! :D
Then went to the auditorium for some presentations.
then we went for some campus tour.
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!:D
mostly i like about was, The HairStyling and Design plus The Beauty therapy, its damn interesting uh!
When the teacher told us bout the course outside the Big Salon, i kept on looking inside, waaaah!
i love it sia!
Somemore theres a specialised uniform for those who're in the course.
Then went we out for the IT course, I did saw some students wearing those uniforms, their hair was like super HOOT uh!
waaaaaaaah!
aahahhaa, Then next we went for IT, i get my hands on some circuits.
Waaaah, quite boring uh.
hahah! ;D
Then after that, we had some refreshments then we went for Nursing course.
ahha!
Then yeah, the teacher showed us the examples to help people who're choked.
ahha! ;D
and yeah, we did took pictures :DDD then we learnt how to do bandaging with ur partners(the first picture on top), and damn it, the thing thats wrapped on my hand is damn smelly! hahah! :DD
then we did saw Anwar being wrapped on the head by Danial Salleh. haha! Damn funny ! :D
After that was the moment ive been waiting for,
A BREAK!
hhahahah! somemore its freaking 1hr30mins, waaaah best!
Then Haadli did came to ITE simei for some reasons, then we saw him at the office.
so we waited for him with his two other friends.
then we went to eat at the cafeteria since the food court is really filled up.
so yeah, we(debbie, me and shahidah) bought Cheese Fries and Peach tea(:
then yeah, i had so much fun spending time with Shahidah&Debbie.
then soon, after we ate, we sat with Haadli and friends.
then soon, we went to the auditorium, Then haadli went off liao.
then we had alot of stuffs done!



we played with robots and stuffs, i did took a video, but i dont wanna post it, damn lame uh, then we have to make some noise in order for the robot to move. so yeahh, we're like so damn crazy, talking with a robot that doesnt even respond to you.
then we ended around 4plus like that,
Till we reached school around 5+?
And yeah, on the way back, the boys at the back of the class is seriously damn noisy eventhough i put on my earpieces with the maximum volume yet their singing is much more loud than the song played in handphone -.=".
Then reached school, accompanied shahidah with her Cheer.
then yeah, we took 966 after that, since shahidah wanna meet haadli at Woodlands.
so yeah, :D
Then we reached woodlands around 7+?















Friday, the second day at ITE was the BEST! :D
seriousssssss.
okay, so today, Its great that, that dumbdumb teacher who always catch my hair didnt tag along! ;D Oh heaven! ;DDDD
Then yeah, reached the ITE quite early..
Then Firstly, we were sorted in our groups, PINK and TORQUISE.
Then, yeah, im in the same group as shahidah&debbie;D
Then we went for Business(in contact with customers)"D
Then we were chosed to be a fashion designer to put on clothes on some of the doll.
then theres cashiers, shoppers, helpers and alot more..
so yeah, shahidah, me and debbie were chosed to be the fashion desginer for mannnn!
and oh man, The clothes were damn ugly, No offence,
somehow, the pants cant even zipped!
It was damn funny uh, haha! ;D
Then we sat around after all were done.
went to the manicure station, and i get my nails painted by shahidah! :D so sassy pink! ;D
then, after all that, we had some shoppers coming in, they were given money(fake ones) then we put on some drama.
haha! Andre and Danial Salleh was so damn gay uh! But damn funny uh, we laughed like siao watching them walk around with those caps and Handbags.
haha ! :D
Then after that, we had some Milo for refreshment, the its only 10am? everyone complained that they wanna eatttttttttttt!
So yeah, just 30mins to rush and get our stomachs filled.
so again, we went to the cafeteria and had cheese fries again!?
hahah! :D
But this time, we were quite late alreadyyy.
Then next, we went for PE?
and yeah, I swear its damn funnn!
firstly, we getta try to be tarzans to swing here to there.
haha! :D
Then we tried some Partnership kind of game.
its so damn interesting luh.
and the above picture was what me and shahidah did tried out, its damn fun, we tried for alot of times to break some records.
haha! ;DDD
then after that, we went to the auditorium.
for some boring presentations, But it tells us the information on choosing the courses.
and yeah, i was damn sleepy.
after that, we have to do some survey on the computer so went to the computer lab, Its damn huge once more. serious.
Then, after the survey's done.
we went to wait for the bus at the amphitheater.
after that, reached school...
around 1.30pm?
Then soon, Bby wanna meet.
so yeah, i did spent some time with my friends before meeting him up.
around 2, i went off, i went with Debbie.
Then yeah, we took different buses.
oh weeeee, I reached woodlands around 2.35 like that?
then meet him around 3++?
Then we went to sit somewhere.
we were as usual, with laughters and whatsoever.
Then soon, we fought.
hes angry when i suddenly changed his name from Baby to Ashrafe in my handphone.
so hes so damn mad, he gave back my phone and went somewhere.
i followed him.
then i was upset uh, he said, "dont follow me luh! " then pulled his hand away.
i was disappointed. the reason ive changed, is because of the fights i had with him.
Then soon, he sat somewhere.
then he went on again, i was damn upset uh, everytime meet, we MUST fight.
so yeah, i just say, "fine, whats the point of meeting when we do was all argue?! its better that i go home right?" then i walked off.
He chased me at the back.
then soon, he said all kinds of nonsense..
i was like... -.=!
so yeah, he waited for me, then fine lorh, i didnt go home,
He punched the wall so damn hard uh, i was really sad to see us this way.
Then, soon, we didnt talked.
Then he suddenly shed some tears.
i didnt know he was crying coz i didnt even look at him.
Then soon, i realized.
i felt so bad luh, then i took his hands and said sorry.
wiped his tears away, looking at him crying, made me cried too.
i wanted to hug him, but i just dont know how, he kept turning away from me.
then i told him the reason why i didnt answered his qns properly just now when he asked about something, so i did.
he finally calm down.
But he kept on crying..
ohmygod, I felt so wrong luhh.

So then around 1830hours, i went home.
Baby, im sorry that i made you cried just now, and im sorry that i cant understand you when it comes to the things you can see, that i cant. sorry that i dont have that ability to really see whats happening around you, im reallyreally sorry.

Till here! :D
w/double loves!

Fuck Dog hole luh!
ehy fuck, dont call me and say things without even knowing uh siaa?
bodoh perh?
siyaal luh, who go make story i go beatup your friend sia? who?
I really wanna know.
somehow, accuse people without even knowing what actually happened?
Who the fuck are you to come and point fingers?
bbual takmo fanatic uh sia, tak suke ckp depan2, dtg jumpe aku.
settle everything, easy sia.
skrg mau sua2 uh bbual ngan aku, pompan mcm kau, hidop takde future sia, baek mampos.
pale buto!
i will talk bout this whole dumb shit later.

Today was like seriously plain uh.
morning , i was abit confused uh, i dont know uh. feel like wanting a breakup with him.
the reason why? coz i feel like i want to.
whatthehell luh.
then after school, went to teman shahidah for while. then soon, she go for drama.
i went home.
and plain shit, i reached home,
received a call from a number.
i dont know who uh.
so i just picked it up, fuck uh fuck!
suddenly natasha talk, talk like one fanatic.
Oh please. no time sia, suddenly accuse me so suddenly.
i fuckingly didnt know what the hell is going on sia.
whatthefuck uh, then she talk to me, i feel like going to her and slap her damn fugly face sia!
damn fuck uh!
not happy, come see me uh.
why saw me that day, didnt dare to approach?
Fuck sia!
kay uh, talk on the phone, u may sound so BIG uh!
but comeon uh, settle in a mature way, grow up man, grow up!
simple saying, people who act as if they're one gangster, comeon uh, u may talk or look like one, but you guys are simply dumb! No offence, simply fight over little things, thats just waaay too childish.
oh my god, such humans on this earth.
i'd rather die then meeting those.
so Natasha, Heres one thing, yeah sometimes you're nice but somehow you're a damn fuckedup girl too, face the fact uh girl.
so what you're not schooling anymore? cool uh?
waaaaah, good uh. see how ur future's gonna come.
say anything you wanna say luh, i freakingly dont care about all these.
coz first thing, im not in the scene and im totally not at fault.
Just some dumb buffaloes go make stories to their "nice" friends that wanted to help out and act like one big minah.
simply not needed here.
maybe i remember the big girls that sat infront of me at toapayoh stairs on monday, maybe they're the ones, besides, they smelt like didnt bath for a million years man, i swear, somemore so huge fats in those stomachs and butts, ewwwwwwwwwwwww!
Then stared at me like as if im gonna say, "ohmygod, im so scared!".
fuck you luh, dump those big huge ass of yours at Geylang luh fuck.
damn it im so annoyed uh.
now i felt soooooo relieved.
oh Natasha, Go GET A BIG FUCK ASSHOLE LIFE!
serious talking, bbual takmo sua2 ngan aku uh, tak perluuuu!
im sorry for being harsh,readers.
if you guys were to face the same thing, i bet you guys wished to say everything out.

kay uh, till here.

takecare,
w/double loves.

Monday(:
oh yesyes, Theres attire checkkkkkk.
thankgod that dumb old teacher didnt check on me.
But very good lorh, teacher let me sit(:
haha! :DD
then soon, First period was MT.
and yes, its the same old thingggg!
Ohmygod.
Boring siaaa.
Then after that was POA i guess?
was boring all theeeee way!
Then Recess:D
My favourite Period. hahaha!
okayokay, lets talk about after school:D
And yeah, went to watch the soccer match.
and yesyes, saw SHAFII! :D
missed that old naughty jokes.
kay then, we sat somewhere at the field with Saufi.
And yes, all the craps came out.
ohmygod!
Then its so damn hot uh!
cannot take it siaa.
and yes, im glad over some reasons.
Only God and Shahidah knew why(:
then soon, we went to sit at the canteen.
then Saufi was like soooooooooooooooooooooooo gayy luh!
hahha!
laughed all the way, then Irwan came.
Haadli was there already.
Irwan freaked out ready. haha ! Funny sia, then haadli made him scareddd.
cute seyh that Irwan!
hahah!
Then sat around, it rained so damn heavily!
so the match was cancelled.
Then read the newspaper, how shocking, 13yrs old and you're already pronounced as a DAD?
whatttt?!
aiyaaaa, then irwan kept kena bully with those guys.
I pity him somehow.
haha!
Then soon, around 4plus like thatt.
we went to toapayoh.
saufi came along later.
then we went to the toilet and stuffs.
then we sat the stairs while waiting for saufi.
suddenly, haadli didnt talked to shahidah, then he can make those funny faces at me!
That dumb asshole!
haha !
then, after saufi reached.
soon Rezuan and Fiona came.
we talked for awhile then they went somewhere.
still, haadli didnt talk to shahidah!
I was damn mad uh, no reasons for not talking to her sia.
I helped them out to help them cooperate.
funny uh, then soon they okay liao(:
Im happy! ;D
Then i went home since its going to be 7o'clock!
haa! Then went home,
Reached home around 7.30?
yes, mummy didnt scold(:
haa!
then blablabla.
when night comes, im really annoyed siaa.
i was damn tired plus sleepy yet bby said i didnt care bout him.
i was like!
Oh please, im tired!
then he kept on saying kinds of nonsense!
agigated!
serious, then its already 9.30. and yes, my eyes were half-closed alreadyy,
so just went to sleep lorhh.
Today, Morning i made an alarm to wake him up at 4.5oam.
from 4.50am till 5.30am.
i kept on calling and he said i only called him once! and because of me, hes late.
i was like, whatthehell?
I called you for several times and you said you received only once?!
whatthehell.
i was damn annoyed uh.
then soon, he kept on saying nonsense that im leaving him or whatsoever uh.
then i was about to be late readyy.
i rushed like mad uh.
then he didnt replied my message.
then on, i told him to sms me only when he reached school, easier that way mahh.
then he replied that hes not feeling well.
hell yeah, i was worried.
and he cant even reply a simple message?
and somemore he can tell me that i didnt care about him?
Bullshit!
I sms-ed him when i reached schoool and i asked whether hes feeling much better.
Fuck! He didnt even spend a little time to reply,
whatever luh.
Then at school around 2 periods before school ends.
He sms-ed me.
waaaah! damn nonsense siaa.
i was like, please luh ehy!
go study uh.
then soon, after school. went to the toilet.
then enrichment.
walao, damn boring.
somemore its for CA points plus its 1hour30mins!
then blablabla, soon the enrichment ended.
then yeah, stayed back to watch shahidah cheer practice,
Then yeah, haha!
cute luh watching they dance. with sherley with her Carebear.
haha! ;D
Then he called, he said hes phone is confiscated.
i was like, are you sure?
haha!
whatever luh ehy.
so till here luh kayy! ;DD
Thurs&friday, going to ITE simei:D

Takecare, w/double loves(:

Life's been upside down up. and yeah im sick of it.
yesterday's already one thing; when i had to wait for him for 2 dumb hours.
then i did asked him for timeout.
somehow, my battery went weak, so yeah. i off it till this morning i woke up.
yeah, by the time i on my handphone.
theres alot of messages received.
from my friends, Happy valentine's day(:
then lastly, three messages from him. he apologized and he realized his mistakes.
ya ya ya.
soon. i didnt replied his sms-es.
i watched Fairly Odd parents when dad changed the channel.
whatthehell?!
i was like.... DAD! im watching the tv, cant you seeeee?
then he said, stupid cartoon.
i was...! GRRRR!nevermind.
then soon, baby asked, "are you goingout with a guy?"
i was like...... "no?"
then he said hes got negative thoughts bout me.
i was like whatever luh, still, im mad at you.
then soon, i cant take it anymore luh, i just cant be without him.
and yes, i made the move and we made some promise before we get back together happily like before..
and yes, we're okay now.
ThankGod.
then yeah, today went to Changi.
Nothing much uh, If only i get to celebrate valentine's day with him):
sadly, i cant.
and yes, im really bored when i reached home.
heres some pictures i took. ahhaa!



and yes, i know its damn ugly luh. hahha! ;DD
so yeahhh.

i wanna wish everyone. Happy Valentine's day(:
till here then(:
w/double loves.

Hellohello Bloggy! :D
Oh yeah, this morning,
i woke up as usual.
then meet Fiona at Toapayoh.
then yeahh, a looooooooooooooooog queue at 143.
but we just took it luh.
then yeah!
In the morning, reached school.
Seriously, that old teacher kept checking on me!
Fucker siaa, i thought now u take over 3n1, go check on ur class uh!
CCB!
dah tue tak nk mampos.
damn annoyed by that old dumb ass.
then yeah, first period was CME.
hell yeah, shahidah did came.
then CME was kinda boring uhh!
Then after that was P.E.
we played our own games; captain's ball.
oh boringgg!
Then after that was EL.
i didnt paid attention all the wayyy.
then was POA.
yes, i slept for the whole period, Teacher's voice really make me wanna sleep. somemore, im so damn sleepy.
aiyaaaaaaa, have to buckup sia.
then was recesssssss!
and yeah, PORRIDGE!
shahidah and i queued up, the queue was quite loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong!
Then when it comes to our turn, porridge finished liao!
Then i was like........ what?!!! im so damn Hungryyy!
then went back to sit with ashura&nabilah.
aiyaaa!
Then went to computer lab to do some of my DNT homeworks.
then after all that, made our way to workshop.
had our test, and what the hell?
I didnt studyy!
damn it, i know im gonna fail this timeee!
-.="!
then after school, went to buy Mee goreng then go computer labb to help shahidah do some valentine's thingy.
then we did, i was dissappointed, again, Baby cancelled our meeting for today! and its been weeks since we've met!
somemore, he gave me such lame excuses!
im damn fedup sia, then i was like, whatever uh, i'd rather spend my time with my friends then meetingup with you sia,
then helped shahidah out, soon he sms-ed.
he wanted to meet at 3, and yeah, around 2pm, i have to leave my friends and meet him,
and hell yeah i was rushing.
then i took the mrt to woodlands, i went down the escalator, and i swear my eyes wasnt playing tricks on me, its him! But im not sure wheres he heading to , i went down straight to 963 busstand, and how great it was, he wasnt even there! and im really sure i did saw him just now!
I just took the bus./
coz i dont wanna be latee.
then soon, i reached his place around 1520hours.
still he havent reached.
nevermind, i waited and waited, its already 1600hours! where is heee?
then he said hes on his way..
Bullshit!
I waited for a total of 2hours!!!
i was whatthehell? you wanted to meet and here you are making me sit there like one dumbshit to wait for you for 2freaking hell hours?!
sister told me to go home and stop waiting for him.
so i did.
then yeah, i sms-ed him,
told him no need to wait and i asked for a Timeout.
hell yeah, im burning like mad!
I seriously hate you b!
serious!
and this timeout is for you to find some time to find the old you once more.
i dont wanna hear any other reasons to it.
once you're the old you, then i'll talk to you.
if you're still the new you, dont ever think you can talk to me!
yes, somehow i hate you but i do love you.
But ur reactions really make me dissappointed in you.
so now, wake up!


Till here luh ehy!
Takecare.

oh well oh well,
Life's has been upside downup.
well, what else can i say?
Im just smiling over the happiness shared by my lovely friends and _______.
with their presence, i felt alive once more after being half dead; having fights with him-.="
yes, im tired of it, seriously tired of it.
what more to say?
aiyaa.
And yeah, its been great just now hanging out with Haadli&shahidah.
we had fun.
yeah, theres something different now.
Im bored and ive got no mood.
Till here then.
w/double loves.


Coz im sick of it? Get it?

Oh hello Bloggy Oggy!
:DDD
haa!
Oh wellwell, FIRSTLY,
I wanna Wish baby, HAPPY 3rd Monthsary(: and also to Haadli&shahidah(: 111108 bby:DDD
and yeah, i did wrote him a longggggggg wish for bby last night.
oh well, i cant even sleep, somemore he didnt even replied.
aiyaaaa, then yeah, Its like our 3rd month today, we didnt meet for weeks, then again, he said hes busy with his assignments, so we cant even meet -.="
and thats so lame excuse uh.
i was like whatever luh.
I woke up damn late today.
Had a serious bad stomache, so just meet up with shahidah at Bugis.
and yeah, soon we had our breakfast at Macdonalds.
then alot more things we did luh.
But its seriously FUN.
Then soon, around 12 plus?
we went to wait for Haadli at Toapayoh.
somehow, theres stupid bigsize guys walking pass us and say, "never go sch?" with that sickening look, whatthefuck siaa.
then soon, Haadli reached.
and yeah, hes damn effing sweet uh, he made shahidah a card with his baby pictures on it.
awwww!
Then they asked me to follow them along to celebrate their 3rd month and somehow, my "3rd month" too.


when in the bus, we sat upstairs, and yeah.
They;re super sweet couples luh, so i took this picture while they;'re sleeping.
OHMYGOD!
So sweet siyyoool!
then yeah, reached VIVO, went to the toilet then to somewhere uh,
then its damn hot,
we took alot of pictures.
But theres so much, im lazy to upload all.
then yeah,
we had huge fun together.
then we went to eat at Food Court then went to toapayoh.
then i went home :D
haha!
I was really damn happy bout something now, maybe shahidah knew why!
hahaaha!
Im so happy! :DDD

Iloveyou guys luh(:
w/double loves.

Oh great, so let me talk bout MONDAY.
Sucks superduper much!
DOnt ask me why i cried that night.
Purposely lie just coz im being strict ? In what way baby? in what way?!
U dont have to lie that you'll be away for two weeks!
You seriously dont have to!
then somemore, Can even entertain girls who called you.
wow! Claps, Indeed.
simply, i dont know whats the reason for you to lie to me.
I just dont know.
Supposingly, your reason was im strict at times, seriously, am i even strict?
somehow, i was just sms-ing coz i never meet you for so many days!
Why cant you understand my feelings?
why must i always give in to you?
dont you think i have feelings too?
Ohmygod, and tomorrow's our 3rd Month, what you're doing now?
So busy with your stuffs?
whatthehell.
Then it seems that it took you almost 24hours to finish your stuffs, yes i do understand you man.
But atleast spare a time luh seyh!
walao, Seriously pissed off sia,
didnt know hes this way,
If i didnt know anything bout those lies, i bet you would be enjoying your "single" life for those freaking two weeks yeah?!
great huh?
and this is how you gave me chance to have trust in you?
Bullshit sia!
I dont even think that you'll change luh, and yes, maybe what other people say is really true.
But now, i dont want history to repeat by itself, Somehow, i just couldnt take it uh, seeing us this way. is this called love?
HAHA!
love is about sacrifice man, If u wouldnt sacrifice ur time being with me, how could you sacrifice your life being with me.
If you dont love me anymore, i suggest you should just tell me straight to my face!
Dont have to hide those feelings luh, somehow it'll make me suffer even more, You wont even realise what you did.

I really wanna thank shahidah!:D
Seriously, when i cried after i getta know everything, shes right next to me to wipe those tears that kept on pouring, ohmy, shes so sweet uh.
then yeah, _____ made me stopped crying so suddenly. special thanks to that someone.
and yeah, Tomorrow's our 3rd month, I would say, nothings gonna be happy for tomorrow.
Im really sure.

So yeah, I had fun with shahidah today(:
and now, maybe i'd be going to sleep soon.
Till here then(:
w/double loves!

oh well, i cant really sleep yesterday night.
so yeah, i told him bout it, i was disappointed luh.
How can he possibly do his homework for almost the whole damn day?
and yesterday was a freaking saturday.
i was reallyreally damn upset.
somehow, the words from his ex's friend's mouth really made me think twice.
Blinded by sweet words man, i didnt even know whether hes really busy.
damn, i wasnt even accusing.

and yesterday night, i came up with this poem.
You promised to be here when i needed you.
I sat here waiting for you,
To confide everything.
Yet, You didnt turn up.
All i know is that,
The promises you've made were just words that came out,
that meant nothing at all.
Recalling the sweet moments i had with the old you.
when i spent alot of my time with you by my side.
with your hands to my waist.
But now, Im like being put aside.
Not knowing what actually going on.
Why must i be so naive?
Since then, im left all alone
without anyone to confide with,
But just tears that could company me that sleepness night.

Tell me baby, If you're not faithful.
tell me straight to my face, I dont wanna regret without knowing a single thing thats happening right infront of my face yet i didnt know what was it.
You're so damn suspicious to me.
Why cant you let me have faith in you?
im trying but you dont let me have that chance to do so!
Till now, I dont wanna disturb since morning i woke up.
coz i know im such a disturbance to you.
thats the reason why, I kept my phone silent with no vibrations.
coz i know, there'll never be any messages received from you.
Just none of them.

I dont wanna talk bout it anymore, its just giving me no peace at all.
baby, its all to you to decide.
I dont wanna say nothing no more.
People kept telling me to let you go, but the question is, Whats even going on?
yes, people do notice whats going on , but i knew nothing at all.
even mummy told me, to let go of him.
I just ignored her and go to my room.
I dont wanna make a rush decision without even giving a second thought. somehow, i dont wanna repeat the same mistake ive made before.
I dont want history to repeat by itself.
No, i wont let it happen.
Oh god, Please tell me whats going on here?! ):


Hereby , Todays 8th February, Mummy's birthday
i wanna wish mummy a happiest Birthday ever!
i love you so much mummy!
Hell yeah.

i had western food today due to Mummy's birthday.
Its really great, but the beef steak is so damn thick!
I cant even eat it, and i gave it to grandma.
haha! :D
then i just ate the egg and wedges.
LOL.
and yeah, i pitied my sister, shes been fighting with her boyfriend since yesterday.
and another 3days, its there 1st ANNIVERSARY,
yes im proud of them but at the same moment, why must they fight over littlest things?
Sister, cool down alright?
I knew uve been giving in to him for almost every fights you had.
I know you're strong, somehow, you've been there for me whenever i cry.
You'll always offer a shoulder to cry on.
I thankyou so much on that.
and yeah, Cheerup sis, Keep the relationship going on.
I know you guys could.


Till now, i didnt touched my phone, except to take pictures and looking at the time.
I didnt even sms anyone, neither do i sms him.
coz i freakingly dont wanna disturb him, who knows he'll be busy, even on sundays.
hell yeah, i wasnt being sarcastic uh.
so yeahhh.

Tiill here baby! ;D
Takecare human-beings.
W/double loves!

and yes, everythings seemed settled yesterday after a call from him.
then yeah, sort everything out.
after when i got to know from his ex's friend, i was abit disappointed plus i cant accept the the fact that hes doing that to me.
so just go in to my room and sms-ed him bout how i felt luh.
i didnt accuse him anyway.
then yeah, im glad we settled things out, somehow i do miss his voice.
Just, just now, i listened to the clip that recorded when im on the phone with him; sooooooooooooooooo last time ago,
and yeah, i just missed it alot luh.
but i just cant turn back time now, everythings changed.
theres nothing i could do but just missing those times i had with him, Before.

Hell yeah, im planning for Valentine's day and Our 3rd month thats gonna come in a few days time.
hope we could make it.

Till here(:
W/double loves

Yes, Good afternoon.
He did apologized to me yesterday, but its fucking late,
coz i didnt even message him at all.
i switched off my phone for almost the whole day.
then yeah, around 8 like that, he did apologized, i replied.
I dont know why,
after learning my mistakes ive done in the past, really makes it hard for me to let him go.
I dont know why.
then yeah, he didnt reply messages AGAIN.
fine, i'll get over it.
then today.
Fcuk, ive forgotten to asked mum for money to topup my ezlink and hell yeah,
im left with 70cents of balance when i took bus from house to admiralty.
i was like, damn it sia!
then, used my allowance to buy a standard ticket.
I dont know, Brother seemed to be really nice to me,
he gave some of his allowance. and thats so sweet. haha.
i thought Baby and I could make it up like the pasts when we used to sms everytime in the train with smiles on my face.
But no, It turned out the same.
What the hell?
then yeah, around 7, still no sms-es except from fiona.
then yeah,
finally i getup and tried to give him some reflection on the way he used to make me fuckin pissed.
so yeah, i did.
I thought he wouldnt reply that fast, and yes he did,
then soon, he scolded me vulgar.
all kinds of things,
i dont know why must he blewup till he scolded me Bitch,Ass, faggot.
Sucks sia! i was damn fucking pissed off uh!
then i fought back asking him, "what about you then?".
but i managed to control myself and not to cry or scold him vulgar, at least.
and i didnt.
then soon,
i felt like crying, but no.
I cant kept on crying when he kept on making me fall!
i was about to ask him for a breakup just now,
I swear. i was about to,
On my second thought, I just cant do it!
then i turned off my phone,
not wanting to see anymore hurtful messages he has to send.
so yeah, Im late for school.
Two times for today.
so yeah,
ThankGod, teacher didnt caught my hair:D
saved.
then first period was CME.
i told shahidah bout it, shes super damn mad luh!
i mean like , whos not angry anyway?
then yeah,
she really made me laughed whenever i dont have the mood to.
thanks alot to her!
then had P.E.
whatever stuffs luh, then around 9plus like that, he sms-ed.
im like a friend of his.
"Hey, Are you asking for a breakup?"
hes asking as if, hes really asking for one!
then yeah, i said,
"umm no, but to be frank, i was about to. but i just cant do it"
he replied asking what i treat him as now.
i was like, you should know yourself.
and somemore, i still cant forget those vulgars he put on me!
damn pissed, still!
then now, not a single messages from him,
i was like thinking uh,
Are you Busy almost 24hours until you cant sms me whether you finished school or not? thats so plain nonsense uh!
so now, people told me to do the same thing.
so i freaking wont sms him or whatsoever,
he wont care de mah.

Seriously, Just now when i reached home,
I looked through the sms-es we had lately.
its so different compared to now.
i realised he started to change from the 26th Jan.
i remembered when i called him that night,
i asked him why he changed and stuffs,
he told me that he suddenly changed when he getta know bout a guy who added me in friendster, sent me a comment.
I was like..
I didnt even know him, and yet uve changed coz of that, ONLY?
i swear ive got nothing to say.

I wasnt even in the wrong, But baby, whatever it takes, i wont ever let this relationship fell apart.
Theres ups and downs in everything in life, so ive gotta face it and make the change to it.
im trying my best to do so.
so here i go!


and ohoh yes! Finally, Sister was chatting with her friend,
and her friend's friend, once been in a relationship with baby,
i didnt know thattt. then yeah, we asked her what kind of boy was he?
a type which dumped girls around? then she said, Kinda.
i was like, once i heard,
i went confused and went to my room, I cried.
so far, i just cant resist,
i find it really so real,
as if hes really doing it to me!
That pressure kept pressing onto me, im down.
then i sms-ed him,
told him how i felt.
then yeah, soon after that,
he actually called.
so, we talked it out slowly.
soon, i realized, my thoughts were against me.
he wasnt that bad afterall.
ohmy!
then yeah, soon, we get along,
just liked we used to be, last time.
Im glad. Ive sort things out with him everything.
then he kept on asking,
Do you love me?
Alot of times, but i did answered, yes i do.
I felt relieved. so relieved,
that i could barely smile so wide.
ThankGod, im once again happy with him.
seriously, i dont want us to end.
God answered my prayer.
I love you as always baby,


So yeah, Till here people.
w/Double Loves(:

Whats actually Love?
From what i see now, i see none of it from you, bby.
None.
yes, You were so sweet when we first met, then after about two months then you turned so bad towards me? whats that? i understand you have to sit for ur N Levels this year. The reason why now is that, Why must you have a Girlfriend when all you do was having no time for me? I realise, You shouldnt have one now if im always a disturbance.
thats what ive been thinking, like always.
then we finally were in good terms.
then suddenly today, Big fuck luh.
again, he said he had to sit beside that Shahirah.
i was like, tak perlu sia if it was about that Girl.
then i replied uh, "If you Love her, Let me go, Im serious"
yes, i was really serious about that, what for? Holding on to this love when its only one-sided when i see is that you do have a heart for her?
might as well, you let me go rather than let me cry all day long right?
You used to say that your exes were all the one who dumped you and were all unfaithful.
and now, Im being wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too faithful to you, yet you didnt appreciate.
seriusly i dont know why guys are always this way.
then yeah, I off-ed my phone all the way till after school.
hes just apologizing.
i ignored everything, tell me whos not angry?
whats the point being honest when it comes to Shahirah?
My friends kept telling me to let him go, But NO!
Im not that heartless , You may do all those things to me, but i wont ever let you go.
Ive promised, and im holding on to it.
But somehow, its you that didnt hold on to those promises you;ve made before.
You kept telling me to be faithful and all, yes ive been faithful all the way.
but i was asking, were you?
Baby, whatever things you gonna do or did, I wont everever stop loving you.
But if one day, i wont hold on to this love, i would let it go for YOUR happiness, not for Mine. somehow, I always have a second thought when it comes to breakingup.
i will think, are those months we had, left just like that, wasted?
thats the reason why, i wanna keep this love we had for as long as i could.
If God's willing to give me that patience to settle this fights that we had these days.
Im sure, we could.
its about 6days till our 3rd month/
Baby, i kept thinking, will we fight till our 3rd month?
i dont want that to happen.
I kept staying calm, controlling those emotions that cant be controlled. And its really hard for me.
coz i cant bear to be mad at you for long, i just cant.

so baby, how i wished you could accept me the way i am, be faithful to one and APPRECIATE me how i appreciate on having you right now.
thats all i gotta say.

Nothing lasts forever, i know.

Bloggeh:)
well, yesterday i was kinda weak, so i went to sleep around 8++ like that. he didnt reply my sms-es, so i just went to sleep luh.
then today, i wake him up, then went to take the mrt as usual.
go toapayoh, took 143, thought i was gonna be lateeeee. but no(:
then met Fiona, Shahidah, Ashura& nabilah. we went up together,
thankgod we wasnt late(:
then yeah, i was called by teacher for ICM,
she asked me almost everything.
but afterall, shes realy understanding, haha!
then after that quite looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong conversation we had, went to meet shahidah,
she carried my bag for me, how sweet?
then yeah, yes i saw ______.
and i missed ________. ):
then went to class, got ready for P.E.
then yeah, we had long jump.(:
Its quite fun luhhh,
somemore with others aroundddd. haha! very funny!
especially Kristal,
somethings itchy ayee? ahhaha! then Siti with the smacking of butts!
hahahahha!
Then went to class,
Had two periods of English.
Whatthehell?
i did slept halfway. hha! :D
then talked with shahidah,
really make me feel much better(:
then yeah, Had Maths soon after that, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Fucking easy siaaa.
seriously. LOL.

then had recess, OhMyGod, Hariz so sweet luhh!
seriously man, hes always there when i needed himm! AWWWW~
then, After school was POA, had some tests,
then after that was MT.
had another test, waaaaaaah!
then after MT was SocialStudies, was abit bored but i did paid attention(:
then after thattttt! school ends.
Meet Shahidah,Ashura&nabilah.
Saufi told shahidah, haadli was downstairs.
so shahidah asked me to accompany her go take Haadli.
kay, then i followed.
Haadli wasnt Downstairs, maybe hes at Ah Hood.
so yeah, we went up,
St.Andrews came liao, saw SHAFIII! OHMYGOD, Miss him mann!
then accompanied shahidah to wait for Haadli.
then soon, he reached.
Shahidah went for Drama, i went home.
I saw Seri, Ohmygod, Pretty one, Wipe away those tears alright? Smile(:
then went back with Fiona.

So ya.. till here, Finally everythings settled, i wont hope for an upcoming fight! OH PLEASE.

W/double loves(:

oh hello.
oh well, early in the morning, never stopped getting disappointed by him. ):
how sad eh?
i did wake him up but yeah, im not sure whether hes awake.
then soon, when im in the mrt, he said he took the bus and saw Shahirah, I dont know for what reason must he add that girl's name.
then yeah, its very upsetting.
just a few more days to our 3rd month and we fought for a whole 1 bloody week!
grrr!
met Fiona at Novena.
went to school.
then yeah, my mouth's abit swollen, coz i pierced back.:D
then yeahhhhhhh!
sooon, i put my handphone to silent w/o vibrations.
so i didnt know he smsed.
then yeah, even more disappointing!
"Just noew shahirah told me she love&admired me. but im NOT TOO SUCH whether to accept her she kept looking at me, i dont know how to react."
what the hell i tell you!
u have a girlfriend already and yet, u can say NOT TOO SUCH WHETHER TO ACCEPT HER?
fuck you!
then i replied uh!
then after recess. i went to class and broke into tears so suddenly.
i kept looking at the sms-es he sent me last time, they were so sweet.
the promises he made .
oh mygod, i cant help it anymore.
i kept crying till end of school and my eyes are out of tears.
theres nothing more i could do, im so weak when it comes to these things, how can i possibly cope with it? =(
then after school, went to meet shahidah.
i told her everything/
and yes, being with my friends really made me forget everything, i suddenly smiled so broadd.
with That Haadli of shahidah's!
really fucking annoying luh.
then yeah, went home around 6pm.
hell yeah im already sick now.
i dont wanna blame anyone.
just that i wanna thank him for those tears.
seriously, how thank you.



then yeah, till here.

Today(:
well oh well, i cant sleep yesterday night, so i kept looking through the sms-es he sent me loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago.
and soon, i shared everything with sister. i felt much better.
soon, around 1plus am, then i go to sleep.
Woke up around 5.20am.
got all ready, since brother's school starting at 9am, so i went to school alone,
Firstly, i wasnt quite in the mood, coz i swear my days a abit suay todayy.
so yeahh.
Meet Fiona, then went to school together.
Reached school, sat infront of Desmond.
then yeah, annoyed when they kept on saying "pink". the colour of my bra. urghh!
irritating i know.
then soon, after the flag-raising ended, theres attire check, i planned to go to toilet due to a "stomachache". haha! and my plan works! :D
stayed in the toilet for 20mins?
haha!
then went to class, LOL, all the malays went to MT room except me!
whatthehell, he sms-ed me saying he went out from home already.
fine then, went up to MT room.
again he made me cry in the early morning, seriously upsetting.
he had to sit beside a girl who actually likes him):
upset!
i just told him that i dont wanna meet him todayy.
then yeah, he say he was just kidding . hell yeah, whatever.
After MT was POA, so yeah, i Passed my POA quiz! I get 6half/10(:
haha! then Kieth kena scold, he stood infront of me. i just dontknow why, everytime he looked at me, He'll laugh.
haha! serious, then soon, we laughed like maddddd.
haha!
kay then, was SocialStudies, Kristal sat beside me, again, laughed like siao. she sent some songs to her phone and blablabla/
then soon, MT again.
Boring, but i swear i laughed alot today and Cried alot too.
then yeah, laughed with shahidah, about shaving some hairs.
hahahahahha! seriously, we're way too dirty!
then after that was recess, i just ate bread. wasnt in the mood.
then after all that, went to mac table.
sat with Hariz,Irwan and others.
We did disturbed Hilmi, somehow. Its damn funny luh! aiyoooo!
then yeah, Ahmad, You should eat more rice for ur lil bro.
ahhaha! :DDDD
then was Eng, BORING!
Then MATH, didnt concentrate well, but yeah, shared some stories with shahidah(:
then was Chemistry, hell boredom.
then was Physics, studied for test tomorrow.
then assembly, how boring is thattt?
then my classmate beside me was sleeping, damn hilarious!
hes like doing some circular movement on his head.
well, Funny yeah(:
then after school, went to meet him.
i was abit late somehow, he started to blewup, i was frustated uh, he should have understand that im having assembly and i have to rush just to meet him.
he didnt reply my next message, so yeah, he did made me cried again.
2 times today.
then soon, waited for him.
he reached and was as usual like as if nothing happened. i didnt wanna look at his face,
serious.
then soon, we sat somewhere, he explained everything and told me to cooperate with this settling of problem, but i was dam dissappointed, i didnt even wanna talk,
so yeah, soon, he told me everything uh.
still, i didnt say anything bout why he changed.
then soon, he took my hand, pushed my head to his chest.
i hugged him and slowly, i cry.
i missed him so much!
he started worrying already, i said i was okay all along, he gave me some tissues, and soon, we talked, somehow.
then soon around 1730hours, i went home.
then yeah(:
till here,
w/double loves.

oh well, i was watching spongebob, ive gotten my new blogskins done and yeah, been waiting for his sms.
its only 3pm when i realized ive done all the things that i should do.
Lol. then yeah.
while watching spongebob, soon, he called using some number.
so i just picked it up and ran to my room.
finally, talked to him after so manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy days.
yeah, i missed him somehow. ):
hes voice changed somehow. turning much more sweeter. haha!
well, i did talked to him as usual.
but yeah, we didnt talked like we used to, last time.
aiyaaaa, then, everything he asked, i'll reply, dont know.
coz i simply dont know why.
haha!
then yeah, we didnt talked much.
he said he wanna meet me tmr.
and he bought me a white rose, how sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet?
well, hope i would have the mood to meet him tmr then.

i hungup the phone as soon as dad reached home.
then yeah, finally i getta download the song on my blog;Mad-NeYo.
LOL.
been listening to it a several times.
and yeah, i guess the song really tells something about the fights i had with him these days, we fought for no reasons.

and whatthehell? sister is piercing her tongue tmr?!!
damn it! i want it tooo! but shes doing it at school!
ass you sister!


weeee, till here baybeh!
W/double loves bby.

Friday night
Yeah, todays was great.
i mean quite uh. haha!
kay, i accompanied him till 3am since he got some shadings to do.
i was really, tired. but what to do.
then yeah, i did all my D&T stuffs.
it was great uh.
ive done alot of it.
then, yeah. around 11 plus like that at night.
he didnt reply my message, hell yeah, i went to bed.
switched off the lights, somehow i kept wanting to browse through the messages we had from the 1st November that ive known him,
a sudden thing that made me cried like mad.
then soon, received a call.
i didnt expect for one.
then, yeah. picked it up.
talked to him for awhile, he apologized for not replying my previous message.
nevermind, im okay with it.
then he asked me why i cried.
i just kept quiet, then he started worrying.
then, he told me that he had no feelings for that girl and hes being truthful to me.
fine then.
hung up the phone. then we sms-ed for awhile.
again, a little arguements.
waaaaaah! sad, kay whatever.
then slept around three morning.

Then Yesterday;saturday
i wake up around 11plus like that.
dad started to Blablabla.
then yeah, did household chores.
then around 5 like that.
wentout, went to eat Murtabak at Jalan Sultan,
while on the way there, sms-ed him.
abit pissed off somehow.
he told theres a girl sms-ed him.
i was like, "if its about any other girl out there, dont tell me about it" :/
then, ive got no mood all the way till i reached home.
then after i had my shower, its already 2200hours like that.
i was very tired.
so, told him i wanna sleep, since he didnt reply my message, ive got nothing else to do.
so just went to sleep lorh.
then hes reply was, "i nga lepak2, u nk tido, tido arh".
as in, he said he was slacking, if u wanna sleep, go sleep uh.
upsetting it was, i did cried somehow.
it does really hurt.
so, finally i standup. and told him, even if im nobody to you, you dont have to treat me this way. then told him, i dont feel like meeting him next week, seeing him this way, i dont think we could even spend time together. although i missed him, theres no choices left.

then he apologized saying hes not the one who replied the message.
somehow, i was fucking pissed, so i just replied, haha and goodnight.
then yeah, i cant sleep actually,
so i took out my diary and wrote a whole 2 pages on 310109.
haha!
then, yeah.
i tried to draw a potrait of myself.
hahah! very random. i know.
then soon, he apologized AGAIN.
alright then, ive forgiven him.
soon, we were as usual.
Great.

Before we go eat murtabak, i did took some photos.







so i guess, till here.
:D
w/double loves(: